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aj6044 Posted September 2021

Rant: my mom's caregiver enables her addiction

Yes, her agency knows. Her social worker knows. Last time I complained to the agency (after installing one camera to get proof), this caregiver stopped for a while for fear of being fired.


Well now she's outsmarting the camera and my mom has been drunk many times since. Just purchased two more cameras to cover the rest of the apartment so she can't pour alcohol out of my sight. I need additional proof to get her removed from my mom's care or fired.


I'm just at a loss for words. This caregiver really likes my mom, and my mom likes her, but this enabling behavior needs to stop. Alcohol reacts her meds and causes severe hypotension. It's not being drunk that necessarily the problem. This caregiver needs to understand it's quite literally killing her. And she's not even pouring her a reasonable amount. She's pouring A LOT. Keep in mind my mom only has one working arm and is completely bed bound. I've reviewed days and days of camera footage and no one else visits her but home health.


Once I get proof that she's still doing it, I'm going to show the agency. Hopefully just the presence of the cameras will be enough for her to quit.


I wish enablers realize how horrible of people they actually are.

Daughterof1930 Sep 2021
This is ridiculous and caregiver needs to be fired. I wouldn’t let her back in the house. Time to make some noise with the agency, mention reporting them or suing

Midkid58 Sep 2021
Actually, your mom's CG is committing a crime. Maybe loosely interpreted, but still.

I had a client who could not have sugar and she craved it to the point we had to hide the sugar--but she would eat it by the spoonful. It reacted very badly with one of her Parkinson's meds. It wasn't killing her, just made her 'stiffen up' for a couple of hours and then nothing could be done until it ran through her system.

She was totally aware she shouldn't eat sugar. So a big part of my job was making sure she took her meds on time and didn't eat things that messed with the efficacy of her meds.

I KNOW that my agency would have fired me in a heartbeat had I been supplying alcohol. MOST drugs do not mix well with it. This is a scenario that will not end well.

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aj6044 Sep 2021
There's only one agency here that accepts Medicaid waiver that will work with someone like my mom. It's state policy that home health caregivers under a medicaid waiver cannot provide alcohol. It's also the agency's policy. My mom isn't private pay - a social worker is managing her care. I am POA, but my only other option for mom is a nursing home and I'm desperately trying to stay away from that because of covid even though my mom is vaccinated. She's been in a nursing home before and it's was awful for her. And in a nursing home they can't actually deny her alcohol because she's competent. It bizarre.

I am about to request this caregiver not be on my mom's case and potentially try to get her fired. If she's enabling my mom, what is doing to other patients?

gladimhere Sep 2021
Is mom competent? If so, aide works for mom, not OP. Mom can do as she pleases including asking aid to bring in booze.

Geaton777 Sep 2021
She's not just an "enabler" she's a deceptive, insubordinate, dangerous creep. Are you not your mom's PoA? If you are, I don't understand why it's so hard to fire her and the agency. If you're not the PoA, then who has hired this person and why aren't they firing her?

JoAnn29 Sep 2021
The agency should remove her proof or not. Yeah Mom loves her because she gets her alcohol. Tell the aide if Mom dies you will have an autopsy done on the body and if found that large amounts of alcohol was the cause of a stroke that killed her, you will have charges brought on the aide for supplying it. (Not sure if u could really do it but may put a scare into her)

I bet Mom is slipping the aide money to get her booze. Maybe time to place Mom in a NH.

ElizabethY Sep 2021
Why not get a new agency or request a new caregiver?

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