I just can’t do it. Two elderly parents (100 and 86) M.edicaid was not approved. So now what do I do? I’m scared for myself.

I think we need more information to truly give you a plan of action. Do you live in their house or do they live in yours? How are the household expenses paid? Can you maintain the household expenses on your own income? Or do you need their income to mostly pay the bills? Would you be able to work full time and support yourself if they were in a care facility? If you can get a full time job and work, and would be able to support yourself, I would suggest you do that. You then would get a social worker involved to oversee your parents needs. If they can't be alone in the house, they will take steps to ensure their safety.

What is the reason you were given for not excepting them? Were they over the income cap for your State? In some States there are qualifying Trusts called QITs or Miller trusts.

Your quality of life is over if you don’t research care options. Please either speak to an elder care attorney or a Medicaid specialist to receive the information needed to move forward with this process.

Best wishes to you and your family.

You have asked questions in the past about "gifting" and how it would affect "Medicare" in the future. Which indicates to me you need a Certified Elder Care attorney's advice and guidance about Medicaid and how to go about getting your parents qualified to receive long term care benefits in Skilled Nursing. If your folks have no savings, but have "gifted" away their finances, a CEC attorney may be able to advise you on how to go about getting past the penalty period, etc. Or, if their monthly income is too high, in some states, a Miller trust can be set up to compensate. If you applied for Medicaid alone and were denied, I'd strongly advise you to seek help to get approved....this is the Federal government we're trying to navigate 🙄

Good luck to you.

When you say Medicaid was not approved, do you mean community Medicaid? Or were you trying to place your parents in a long term care facility covered by LTC Medicaid? There is a difference between the 2, and many who do not qualify for community Medicaid do qualify for LTC Medicaid. How much supervision do they need? Can they do ADL's (feeding themselves, bathing, using the bathroom) by themselves? The way to get help is you need to get a social worker to help, either from the local hospital or State APS. You tell them you are unable to safely take care of them, your parents are vulnerable adults, and you have to work and can't be there all the time to take care of them. If your parents would be in danger being alone, the SW will take action. You are in no way required to give up your life to take care of them.

There is a way for you to get help if you really need and want it. If the social workers see your parents as vulnerable or neglected, they will take action. Last week we had a post from a young man who was upset APS took his father away because he wanted to take care of him, though I think he wanted to take care of him partly for financial reasons as well. Keep in mind if your parents go to a facility under Medicaid, all of their income will be used for their care, so hopefully you don't need to rely on most of their income to keep the household afloat. But my point is, APS will take your parents and provide them a safe environment if necessary. You would have to take steps to initiate that process. I was once close to that point because I had to work and my father deteriorated to the point of needing 24 hr care. I couldn't be there and we couldn't afford in home caregivers. I spoke to a nurse and she mentioned a referral to APS. I was horrified at the sound of it, so I took him to the hospital instead, but I guess the outcome would have been the same. Call a social worker and get them involved.

Did you take your parents into your home?
Did you move into your parents home?
Are your parents still living independently with you helping?

Your answer to the above will dictate how to move forward. If your parents do not qualify for medicaid there is a way for them to spend down their assets so that they will qualify. This may require an elder law attorney to guide you or a LSW in private practice in your area.