My dh died last night shortly after 9:00. He went into the hospital on Sunday 9/8 with congestive heart failure, his kidneys failed, and he chose to not have dialysis and to come home on hospice care Thursday. Things did not go well here at home (those who remember my past posts will know that he was extremely controlling, among other things) and after a fall, we decided we could not provide him the level of care he needed and he was placed in a local hospice house on Monday.
He went from being totally alert Monday to barely communicative on Tuesday evening when he told everyone he loved them. From that point on, he just slept. I'm sure some of that was due to morphine and ativan. He passed last night right after I said goodnight to him and left the hospice house. He was probably waiting for me to go. My son, who lives with us, was the last one to be with him and he watched his father die, counting the breaths until there were no more.
I always said I hoped his heart would take him before his dementia became too bad. In a way, I got my wish, I just never expected his kidneys to go (which was because of his heart).
It has been a long journey with him and I am at peace that it is over. It is a strange place to be -- grieving for what could have been / should have been but never was, while at the same time feeling the grief of an emptiness in the house and realizing that it is time to readjust my thinking and move forward.
Moving dh to the hospice house was the best thing we could have done. They gave excellent care to him and to us and we are extremely grateful.
I also want to say, as a daughter of a man , very much like your husband's. It will help your children very much by admitting that your husband was a very controlling person. My mom put my father on such a pedestal and never has admit he was difficult person. So this will help your daughters, recovery. I commend you for that.
We were married for a long time. I still miss him every day.
My husband passed away in an inpatient hospice. He had excellent care and I was able to just be his wife and not his caregiver.
This site is a wonderful place to vent and get advice from people in the same situation. Wishing you and your family God's peace.
Prayers and thoughts are with you.