7 weeks ago I took in my Mother and I am her last resort, she's burned her bridges. Her ex boyfriend, my sister and my aunt all tried to help her and they have given up. They all felt like it is dementia. I had counseling with the case worker a the geriatric part mental hospital and she thinks it's Paranoid schizophrenia instead of or with dementia. Now what. I might have to hospitalize her eventually but in the mean time she's still in my house and hard to handle. Definition of paranoid schizophrenia. irritability, sudden anger, fearfulness, and suspicion. That's my mother, along with the memory loss and forgetfulness. Y can't get her in for another month to get her evaluated unlss I give up and take her to the hospital and have her admitted. She'll run away like she did to my sister when she took Mom to the hospital. My God. That why she's so mean. I need some help here, thanks.
You should not feel guilty about her being in lockdown. You should not feel bad that she is angry with you. She is stuck on the angry channel, you cannot change it. She safe in lockdown and that is the best thing for her and for you. If calling is not working just start sending cards to let her know you do care. Let Hallmark do the talking and you just sign them. She might mock them, tear them up, tell the nurses you are horrible, but I would bet she will enjoy receiving them.
The book Growing Up With a Schizophrenic Mother helped me make some sense of things that happened and also calls out the mental health community for totally failing to support children who grow up with parents that have severe mental illness. Also I enjoyed actor Alan Alda's autobiography. It covers his mother's schizophrenia and how he has tried to get past it.
It sounds like your poor mom has both dementia ( broken brain from structural damage of some sort--either plaques and abnormal protein deposits, or vascular issues) and something like schizophrenia, which is genetic, biochemical and maybe structural. In any event, a brain broken in more than one way.
We tend to think of mental illness as something that can be gotten rid of by sheer force of will. It ain't true.
It's very sad that your mother is so ill, and that she is so unhappy and angry. It's heartbreaking, for you and she both. But she is where she needs to be.
Hugs to you.
He had to pick her up and carry her out while she was fighting him. He had to run his boat out of the driveway to get to the higher street where i was. Anyway that was almost a year ago. Since then I have had to go to court to get guardianship. Her sisters helped me. We had to have police go get her by that time she never was able to move closer to me and she was back at her old place. She was evaluated with dimentia and had been evaluated several years before with paranoia schitzoaffective disorder which I didnt know about but pretty much knew by reading information tat she had some sort of paranoia schitzaphrenia. She is in locked down facility and everytime I call andor go see her she tells me she has been discharged. She gets mad at me because I wont get her out. And Iwent to see her aout a week before Memorial day and called a week later and asked how her blister was on her foot and she asked how i knew of this. I told her because I was there when they were doctoring her foot and I was cutting her toenails. She hung up on me. I called her back thinking we got disconnected but didnt rule out her hanging up on me because nothing is surprising anmore. When I called her back I heard her screaming and telling the nurse to tell me not to ever call her again. Either she thnks I am lying and I didnt go see her or shes mad because she cant remember be being there. I took my hiusband and my grandson and my aunt went along as well and she doesnt remember. But that is ok I just dont know how to handle her being angry with me. Its so hard to deal with. I know its hard for her but I really wish things were different. Ihavent called her back in a month. I do plan to go see her this month I usually dont let 2 months go by without going. She is 3 1/2 hours away. The nursing staff told me today that she is refusing her meds at night. Also she is trying to get out of the locked down facility and says her sisters are going to check her out. My aunts call her and let her know that they cant come that day so that she wont be expecting them. I hate that she has to stay in this locked down facility for the rest of her life but I dont see it getting any better and she has been diagnosed incompetant. She isnt bathing nor will she let them cut her hair. She is 72. My grandmother had schitzophrenia as well.
She has a lot of problems her illnesses which is paranoid-schizophrenia and dementia. Lately she has more outbursts of anger and is very verbal also, she throws things. I'm not saying its easy because it is definitely not. I have researched many issues regarding this illness combination and found nothing to help me understand what I'm up against, not even a basic line of information. So I felt as if I was on my own on how to care for her without putting her in some home. All I know its not easy to take care of family members who are ill buy a long shot and its very frustrating, I thank God I have other family members who also help me out. So I give a high five to all those who hang in there a take care of family. Hope to find more answers to help us out with these illnesses.
She should not be starting Risperidone without a lot of doctor follow up. It's a very powerful anti-psychotic drug with a LOT of very dangerous side effects. It is not a magic pill, that's for sure. And it is not to be taken outside a very highly monitored situation. It's not Tylenol. It also is not prescribed for 2 days' worth and that's it because it's not a drug you can just stop & start without side effects. I can see how a doctor might want to re-check her after 2 days to adjust the dosage or taper her off it if it's not helping, or try a different drug. But not just take four doses and be done.
Something is broken in the system if they are really just classifying people who don't show up for mental evals as competent. Sounds like there's more going on there. If you don't have durable power of attorney specifically for your step-mother, you are not going to get the real information from any doctor or hospital. The HIPAA rules prevent them from disclosing that kind of information to anyone without the proper authority.
If your dad was in a nursing home and of sound mind, he would have had to purposefully end his rental agreement there to move out. Is there more going on around this point? Was he only there for a rehab period instead of as a permanent resident? A rehab stay would come to an end and you either go home or check in as a permanent resident - depends on the facility.
Sounds like they need an in-home assessment by social services to evaluate the situation. You do not want to tee this up to look like you are just the disagreeable step-daughter. You can report your suspicion of elder abuse to their local adult social services office. They are required by law to investigate and to keep the reporter's name anonymous. There is usually a hotline to call to report abuse of elders. Contact your local agency on aging to get some advice.
If you don't have durable power of attorney for your dad as well, then you may not be getting all the info from the doctors, hospitals, nursing home, anyone. If you are only getting the news from your dad or his wife, you might have to receive this information with a strong "does this make sense" filter on.
It doesn't make sense that someone in the hospital for psychiatric eval would just be cleared with no follow up at all.
Your mother has led a difficult life (likely your whole family did), but she didn't have the help she needed. Our system still lacks much in providing for those with mental illness, but at least your mother is in a facility that is appropriate for her needs.
You've been through so much yourself as you've tried to help her. Stay strong and do try to take care of yourself.
Carol
She lived with me & my family for a few weeks and it was h*ll on earth. She is a real handful to take care of, even for the professionals, but they have psychiatric nurses & doctors right there and I do not.
My mom came along during the post-WW2 era where there was not much mental help to get. What there was, was pretty barbaric and many were afraid to ask for help, lest they be committed. There were other social code words for it. Difficult. Odd. Eccentric. Kooky.
Mom had several hospitalizations last year that turned the tide for her. Thank the heavens the sharp doctors and nurses who picked up on it and didn't fall for her "act". There were so many along the way there is no way I can contact them all to let them know it mattered, what they did. Their decisions to keep her for observation, to ask her real cognitive eval questions, and recommend treatment. It made ALL the difference.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, my dear. Let's talk!
What does the doctor you talked to who thinks it is Paranoid schizophrenia think the best course of action is?
This behavior is hard to deal with even by skilled, trained professionals in a hospital setting. You should not be hard on yourself (or your sister or the boyfriend) for not being able to deal with it single-handed.
Is this diganosis fairly new? Is Mom now on some medications for this condition?
Carol