Is there a form that we can use to plan out our funeral down to the service ahead of time to take the burden off our children?

This is such a wonderfully kind thing to do. When someone passes the stress of the loss make it hard to focus and there are so many decisions to make. A prearranged funeral or cremation all paid for in advance then requires just one phone call to the funeral home and all is taken care of. The funeral home that prepared my mothers arrangements gave us a booklet we could fill out for any extras like music etc but upon her death we just call the home they arrange everything from pick up to notifying the state, death certificates everything. It is such a relief to know this is in place. We did this for my aunt who passed some years ago and my mother was her next of kin, she was at ease knowing everything was in place and that my aunt was the one who picked everything out herself so it was her wishes not ours that were followed.

When I realized my COPD was serious, I contacted one of my good friends at the funeral home near us. An entire booklet was available, and I have done everything but pick out my clothes. The music is planned, the minister is selected, and I am at peace about making one step of the journey a little easier for everyone.

Will.
There be.
Chocolate?

Shatter1: There are rules of where one can scatter ashes. However, we were getting depressed keeping my dog's ashes, and I did not intend to keep them or collect them in a box as a memory. Federal or State land is a no no.
One day, we were escorted to a place, just beyond where we were helping to do trail repairs, and advised to scatter what we had carried out there on the advice of our boss. Ok then. Discreetly.

In all seriousness I have already planned my funeral and what music I want and what I want said. I have indicated that I don't want a eulogy but to send a message from beyond as it were, Plus no-one is to wear dark colours this is to be a joyous occasion not one filled with sadness. Even if I died tomorrow I would have lived an eventful life and have no regrets so I don't want anyone being miserable that I have gone.

I have always thought that when someone says I will dance on your grave that when I die my will should be able to insist they do. If that was the case I would change my mind from cremation to burial at sea - preferably in shark infested waters!

And they're going to be even more busy with all the repercussions of the lead in all of the water piped to households in Flint, Michigan.

Shatter1, the EPA will tell you they are hazardous waste and you need a permit to "dump" them. However they are very busy with old gold mines, lead pipes and sinking bayous at the moment, so they probably won't notice what you do with that tin of ashes.

What are the rules about where you can spread the ashes after the funeral ceremony?

You can speak to your Minister or the local funeral home my Mom is paying on time to have it all taken care. She wants to be cremated and she has my Dad ashes in her room and they want the ashes mixed and then spread where we all choose to have a final goodbye.

We had to spend my mom's money because of medicaid. We prepaid her funeral. The funeral parlor was great. They sat with us and we planned what my mom would want when she passes on.
They have a program (forget what it is called) but if you prepay the funeral the price can never go up.

Besides going to he funeral home and making advanced plans, why not just write down what you want by way of music, message etc. and keep in somewhere that your kids know about?

You can call or go to the fueral home and make the arrangements at any time. That is what I did for myself so my kids won't have to deal with it when I die.