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mfs4747 Asked June 2010

My dad won't pay for his food & necessities, but he has money and I don't. Can I write a check to myself after I buy what is needed for my father?

CKover13 Jun 2010
Get ur Dad to sign Papers making you his POA, & Legal Guardian, you should have no problem once this is done, then all the Bank willl need to see are the documents, make copies & you should be able to make Financial Decicions for him. At least this is what has worked for me, hope this helps you as well.

Bobbi Jun 2010
I am curious as to why he feels this way. Is he afraid that he won't have any money? Was he always like this? Is there a cognitive issue involved and he does not understand? If your father receives Social Security, you can be made the Representative Payee. You then become responsible for his purchases. You will have to keep records in this case to show that his funds are not being abused. If he is able to understand, it sounds like it is time for an honest discussion to determine what exactly he is thinking.

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linda09 Jun 2010
just be up front with ur dad . if he expected food or whatever eles he needs . just tell him u dont have any money to get those things he needs , iether he gives ya money or he dont get anything at all .
it takes money to get stuff for dad . money or dont get anything .

TheFixer Jun 2010
When I go to the store to get Mom's prescriptions filled, I fill out her check and she signs it, leaving the amount blank. While I'm getting her Rx, I also get her vitamins, ensure, depends... I bring back the receipt (we keep them in a box with other papers for taxes) and fill in the amount in her check register. It has save me from paying for everything. My brother also talked to her about giving me $100 a month for groceries...,(sometimes having a third party bring things to their attention is helpful). I have POA and am on her checking account, but this way she feels like she's contributing and it helps me keep the receipts separate for tax time.

195Austin Jun 2010
May because I have been there done that and that burden has lifted I can be more clear headed Ed thank you for your kind words-now back out to fight with more weeds.

Eddie Jun 2010
Way to go Austin!

In caregiving, we need intelligent people to think rationally instead of acting on impulse and allowing their emotions to cloud their judgement. In other words, we need more of you. Thanks for your comment.

-- ED

195Austin Jun 2010
I would sit down with him and explain that you are not able to pay for his stuff and talk about options that will work for both of you-he may just not realize what things cost did he have a mate who did all of this does he live with you in your home-let him know the money had to be provided from someone besides you do you have siblings who could give him money or let him know he has to use his money what is he saving it for-some elders think they need to save theirs to pass on but you need it now-maybe he needs to see an account who can show him how much money he has.

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