My husband of 53 years is dealing with end stage COPD, lung cancer, peripheral neuropathy, and spinal stenosis. He is on oxygen 24/7 and since he has no strength left in his legs, in a wheel chair. We have had Hospice for about 2 months and while they aren't here often, they are very helpful. I can still leave him in the afternoons for a few hours but not at night. He does have the button to press if he needs help while I am out but I no longer go more than 15 minutes away, Like those I have read about here, who are caring for a parent, I wonder when the end will come. And I have been in therapy for the past year to help me cope. This is like a tunnel with no end in sight.........
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I'm so sorry that you are going through such a dark and difficult time. I feel so sad for both you and your husband ...each of you are walking a hard road. My mom took care of my dad during his struggle with emphysema and it was pretty much unbearable for her. I do applaud you for honoring your marriage vows. That is truly commendable. There's a book that I ran across while working for Focus on the Family about a husband who took care of his ailing wife. It's called, "A Promise Kept"..maybe it would be a source of encouragement to you. Here's a link if you're interested: htt May God give you abundant strength and grace for each day.
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You have such a blessing to have had him for 53 years. I have seen what you are going through with my brothers families. I have had 2 brothers pass from Cancer within 1 year, both in their late 50's and early 60's. I sat with the youngest while his daughters took their mom out of the house for a few hours at a time. I can only say it was a blessing for me as we were able to talk about our parents, our childhood etc without interuption. It is a memory that I will alway hold dear. In my book wives who hang in there until the end will always have a special blessing. I work for a NH and believe me there are families that only come when called. Keep him at home if you can. Although you might want to look into respite care. Ask your Hospice nurse about this as even if it were only for a day or so at a time in your home it would give you peace of mine that he is not alone and would give you a chance to do those things that are more than 15 minutes away, go have your hair done and by the way get your nails done as well. You can then go back home refreshed and looking good at the same time.:) Good Luck to you and May God Bless.
As you can tell, you aren't alone. I care for my wife with cerebral palsy, my mother going blind and deaf and my step-dad with dementia. I feel your pain and empathize with your burden. You are right, it's not easy and is very stressful. I've been doing this since I met my wife 17 years ago, and the only thing that keeps me going is 1) the knowledge that my efforts make a huge difference to my care recipient's quality of life, 2) knowing that my care recipients would do it for me if the tables were turned, 3) I'm modeling behaviors for my children when I need their care in the future, 4) my efforts feed my spirituality which hints of a reward that will make all my efforts worthwhile. If I didn't have that faith holding me up, I'd have gone crazy years ago. Do your best and know that your best is good enough. Forgive yourself for your imperfections. Reward yourself for your efforts, even if that's just a sympathetic pat on the back. You deserve it. Good Luck. God Bless You.