My mom is now alone in her home and does not want to move in with me and my family. What are the first things I should do?

Actually, that's a good thing........the fact that your 88 year old mother wants to be on her own and live independently. 1) Arrange for daily visits from the local Visitng Nurse Association (or another service agency). Get her all the help that she may need in housekeeping and food supplies. I highly recommend " Fresh and Fit Cuisine"...hopefully they deliver in your area. Ask her what her daily routine is like. What does she do during the day. What is her rise time, her bedtime etc. Any complaints? Everything "good" may change someday, so enjoy your mother's good health now.

yes monitor. Watch over her any way you can. People took money from my mom when she was on her own. We live states away and were not around. Maybe she can get involved with a senior program in your community. People need to be with other people their own age for social and mental connection.

Sibling,
The same company (Phillips) that I mentioned about the medical monitoring pendant (also this system does work if the person is wearing the pendant outside
up to the size of a football field.)
Phillips also has a system for medicine dispensing. The medications have to be
put in the containers, then they are locked and the dispenser will open at the time the medication is to be taken, and I believe the person also recieves a phone call from the company to take the medication.
I have not used this however, so don't know anything more than it is available through Phillips.

Be happy that your mother is cognitive, and able to perform the ADL's...( Activities of Daily Life), bathing, eating, toileting, and dressing. Don't look for trouble where there is none.

Also got Mom the medical alarm system that detects falls. Problem is Mom has tendancy to not put the telephone receiver on the hook properly and this device won't work if the phone is off the hook, so I still have to call a contact in her buildling to go and check if she is ok. and to get the phone back on the hook. Also medication is becoming a problem - she takes pain killers and then thinks she has taken her heart meds, but when I go there I often find that she has not done so. I spend a lot of time making meals, making sure she eats and drinks enough, takes the meds and uses the safety devices that have been installed - also to keep her apartment clean. Slowly getting some help, but it takes time to sort out what is needed and could possibly be over-protective paranoia. Hadn't thought of the camera, but it seems like a feasible solution, but I'm wondering about her balking at this, as the last shred of her privacy is taken away. What amazes me is how quickly and insidiously dementia can move in and turn our lives upside down! I think for those who have always been socially inclined, arranging for someone to drop in for homecare, short visits at first, and possibly more hours as the need grows. The problem is cost, but it seems there are volunteers and community services that cost less. You just have to spend lots of time finding the right contacts through local government and non-profit agencies.

I agree that a medical alarm system is probably a good idea. Make sure you consider how active she is before buying a system. You still want her protected when she's outside in the yard, for example. Or if she's still very active and mobile, consider a cellular-based system.

Install some cameras so you can watch her at all times and be sure she is safe and has not fallen. Also meals on wheels is a good thing and definitely the life alert if she is cognitive enough to know to hit the button and wear the necklace or wrist band at all times. We installed cameras in dads home so we can watch him while at work or on our cell phones all the time. Best investment we ever made for his safety.

Observe if her mobility and cognitive ability are in decline. If they are, have someone check on her everyday if she does not want to move with you. Hiring and independent sitter is much more affordable than hiring caregiver through agency. Also you may also find a helpful if you go to senior center. There are many resources available in regard to elder activities and issues. If you are lucky maybe you can find a volunteer that are willing to visit your mom. As a nurse and caregiver myself, I found cases where an elderly condition dropped dramatically after her falls. As you mentioned, safety is always important when you have elderly person live alone.

My mom was the same way. If they want to be in their home you have to let them. It makes it so much harder on us though! I called five times a day and went over on Wednesday evenings and every weekend.will she knit or cut coupons, fold laundry, go to daycare, watch movies, etc? Something ultimately will happen, as did with my mom who fell, but in the mean time if you cannot reson with her, let her be alone with lots of phone calls and visits, that's all you can do. You could set up cameras and check on her from home also. Good luck

I got a Phillips medic alert with a pendant for my parents.
The "necklace" has a
small sensor on it that will automatically trigger the medical alarm if they fall.

If there is no response when they call,
the center calls whomever is listed, police, family etc. so that someone can check on the person who is wearing the the pendant.

Not every medical alarm system has this feature, most have just a system that the person has to press the button in order to get the help started.

Very reputable company.

Can your Mom afford, or will her insurance cover any caregiver/companion care in home for her? Another alternative might be an Independent/Assisted Living facility. If she doesn't need much help, she could be in the independent part. If she still drives, a lot of them let the seniors bring their cars. Just a few options.

Sometimes we need to start by listening to what she wants and calmly address ways to meet her growing needs. That's when she might be more willing to listen to your concerns, too. The fear of losing your independence is so very real...but if she feels you are working with her and not taking things from her...she might be more willing to listen and less defensive. I've been through this twice now...best wishes.

Well what are her mental and physical limitations at this point in her life? You can get her a medical alert system, which would either be a pendant that hangs from her neck, or a watch with a push button on it. The person manning the phones would call whoever you decide should be called first in an emergency, either a person or 911. Then there's Loaves and Fishes or Meals on Wheels that can bring her food everyday if needed, except holidays. Here in Oregon, at least in the city, we have public transportation in the form of a small bus that will take a person and a caregiver if necessary, to wherever you want them to. You prearrange pickup and delivery a day or so in advance. Then we also have a senior center here in the suburbs that has all kinds of stuff for people 55+ to do. From art classes, exercise classes etc. I don't know what you had in mind for your mom, but that's just a few ideas.