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QweensGambit Asked April 2013

How do I convince a reluctant Nana to give Senior Center/Adult Day program a try?

Nana wont even THINK about joining the Senior Center. They are at least five very active groups in my area, and it sounds like they are having a blast. Nana is lonlely sometimes. (I am expeccted to fill her social needs) Sometimes she gets bored. (I do my best, but I am only one person and we dont have company every day). I think she would like it. But every time I bring it up, she balks at the idea. She says she doesnt want "old people" as friends. (she is 91) I dont want to insist, or try to make her go against her will. I want it to be a positive thing. Any ideas on what I could say might persuade her to go? Has anyone else had a similar situation where your elder relative refuses to go make new friends or do anything to improve their social life, and instead, expects you to fulfill their every need? Should I just let it go, or should I keep trying to convince her?

bookluvr Apr 2013
I was thinking the same thing. Maybe several visits in which she would get comfortable enough and make new friends. And even when you finally do get her to decide to join in, it will still be a struggle on some days when she won't want to go. Similar to how we felt when used to go to school or to work..where we had to force ourselves to go to school/work not because we wanted to but have to. I understand from some posters here, it's the constant struggle to get them up, off the bed, dress up and into the car that is the real struggle. Once they get to daycare, they're gungho into it. I hope you both are able to persuade them to join..it makes a big difference as a respite from caregiving.

anonymous155170 Apr 2013
I am about to face that same situation. I just learned there is an Adult Daycare nears my mom's home. I have not approached the subject yet because I am not sure my mom will want to go.

We do a lot of activities with my mom, so she gets to be a social butterfly. I worry that she won't want to leave my side to go to be with others her age.

The place near us gives a free visit, can you take her down and go with her. By that I mean both of you go for a visit and spend time there. Perhaps if she goes for a visit with you at her side that will work in getting her excited about the place.

Good luck, I would love to hear how it goes!

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