My brother who lives with Dad who has Alzheimer's is getting his spine fused and is in obvious pain. Dad is upset. How do I comfort Dad?

IF he has walking fits, lock all doors and windows and let him get through it, you cannot reason with them at that time. My Mom would pace and pull on the doors and windows and scream at me. I just stayed quiet and soon she sat down, fell asleep for 5-10 minutes and woke up. I went to her and she would say "Hi!" with a huge smile. Its like a roaming fit or an overloaded brain. I ended up having her Dr put her on small doses of depakote and it ended . Wished I hadnt waited almost a year to do that, she, and myself, were so much calmer! lol
Also use old music, works well sometimes to prevent them. Good Luck

Problem behavior is often a way the Alzheimer’s patient tries to communicate with you. The progression of the disease means that they may no longer be able to communicate verbally, but they are still emotionally conscious and will remain so, often until the very end of life.

In many cases his behavior is a reaction to an uncomfortable or stressful environment. If you can establish why he is stressed or what is triggering his discomfort, you should be able to resolve the problem behavior with greater ease. Remember that the person with dementia is not being deliberately difficult. Their sense of reality may be different to yours, but it’s still very real to them.

You will probably just have to repeat over and over again that your brother is fine, and then distract Dad with a different subject. It will be tedious, but worth it to help him not worry.
PS. Your Brother should listen to his DOCTOR!

Have you gotten a second opinion about the spinal fusion? I would and as a nurse I would get acupuncture for the pain, and when he gets upset, listen and let him vent.

Good family here, and good advice. You are blessed to have good people in your lives.

Will there be a caregiver there while your brother is away? He should probably not come home to recuperate, because he would try to do too much. I had eye surgery when my daughter was 15 months old, and asked to stay an extra night so I wouldn't be tempted to pick her up, which is prohibited after eye surgery.

What are your father's fears and concerns?

When my MIL had hip replacement, FIL just didn't understand that she wasn't able to wait on her constantly. She would try so hard to do things for him when she should have been recovering herself. It took the whole family to care for these two. . .We wouldn't trade that experience for anything, but it sure was busy having two patients.

Jenni, I read your bio. You and I have something in common, a family that pitches in and helps each other thru thick and thin. Your family is awesome I think, meeting the needs of your grandma and your mom and now your dad. Which makes me wonder if it would be possible for your dad to stay with any of his siblings or other family members while your brother is going thru this procedure and pain associated with it. I doubt he'll be able to handle your brother's pain while he's healing, since he probably doesn't understand the logic of having to have this operation. Otherwise, I'd say keep him occupied and redirected with some sort of activity. But as a whole, you guys are awesome. ♥