She did recognize me. She said she was getting married to an old boyfriend...he is dead long ago...she was insistent...this was shocking to me...I feel I have lost my mom and I need to study up on dementia to learn how to deal with this new turn of events..I am running out of energy since this has gone on for many months now but the dementia is new...I am so tired...any suggestions?
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This was 18 months ago. My point is, educate yourself, read The Departure Zone. Watch you tube Teepa Snow. These will help.
I would hAve her evaluated by her physician. Go ahead and send him a confidential note ahead of time outlining your observations and concerns so he has a heads up.
Don't panic, it's not an on off switch. Mild dementia stage could go on for awhile. But it doesn't get better so prepare yourself and start having important conversations with mom about preparing for the future and her future care needs. DON'T PROMISE TO BE HER PRIMARY CAREGIVER, or that she can always stay in her house, etc. until you spend more time on this site and fully understand what you are getting into.
My mom is 90 and still lives independently. Sometimes when she is very tired, she confuses more easily or confuses what she reads or hears on tv with real life. She recognizes me but there were a couple times when she didn't and it was scary. I was patient and she came around. She had been in a very deep sleep and hadn't eaten well for a few days so was week. Once she got nourished and rested she was fine but had awareness that she was "losing her mind" and was frightened.
When you educate yourself and have mom evaluated, you will know what you are dealing with better. Visit some local care facilities with mom, and have the frank conversations necessary. You will feel like you have some control going forward. Call your local center for aging and senior center and explore resources available so you can prepare.
I didn't have the frank conversations I should have ahead of time. I thought I had time and then crisis hit and now I have a complicated mess...Mom has dug in heels and there will come a time when she has to move and it will not be pleasant for either of us because she flatly refuses any care or assistance. I also live long distance.
I hope my experience will help you.
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Also, if you notice your mom is depressed, withdrawn, repeating herself, hording, dressing in uncharacteristic ways, not bathing, not taking care of her home, or putting household items in strange places, I'd be concerned that she might have dementia.
You might try having her evaluated by a doctor specializing in dementia and other diseases related to cognitive impairment. Even getting her to a GP would help you start the process of evaluation/diagnosis. It may turn out to be a problem that is treatable and unrelated to progressive memory loss.