How do I deal with mom who is refusing to follow rules at senior living facility?

Yikes! Losing one's familiar home and nicotine at the same time would be rough on anybody, especially someone who's used to having their own way.

Can she manage a nicotine patch or other aid to ease withdrawal from the addiction? Please speak with her doctor about that and possible other medications to help her through this difficult transition.

And you might also consider counseling to support her in accepting the reality of whatever makes it necessary for her to be going through this. Blessings to all.

I think the key is what you already said, that she's 'always been pretty awful' so therein lies the problem. How DO you get that old dog to do new tricks when that dog hasn't had to do anything except what it wanted to do? I don't know. You know your mom best, so figure out if threatening, cajoling, begging, reasoning or bribing works best and do it. Sometimes having a stranger tell a person like your mom what to do works better than having family do it. Good luck.