How not to feel bad, is it wrong?

So the holidays are fast upon us and once again I wonder what and how the holidays will bring again this year, My mom has had a rough year, SHe has been in and out of hospitals, nursing homes in the last year. I hate the idea that this year she will be alone. I am not sure if I can deal with her as it is, my children (teenagers) dont really want anyhting to do with her , my husband and her, scary thought there, hate one another, my brother cant be around her or there is a fight. I am over whelmed. I know I dont have much time with her and all she is 73 and has demetria and parkinison's disease. She is a hard person to like and drives everyone around her crazy. what do you do when this happens. She has had to give up a lot and I have to tell her sometimes its for the best, but she doesn't listen. I sold the house , threw stuff away and well she asks for everything , I have no idea where its at. She is in a tiny room at a nursing home and always wants more it seesm. I feel bad as it is , plus I am 1 1/2 hrs away from her and cant just run over. How do I not make my self miserable,