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M
Morney Asked January 2015

How do I get my stepchildren more involved in our lives?

My husband is 90 and has MID, a form of dementia and he is rapidly declining. I am 70, we have been married 45 years. I have always gotten along well with the step children and do not understand how they are not responding to his obvious (to me) needs for interaction and support from them. They call and ask how he is but do not spend time with him.. I have physical limitations but he is still physically healthy and exercises every day! How do I approach the kids? I don't want to make them feel guilty but I think they should be made aware. I don't know what to do.

jeannegibbs Jan 2015
When they ask how he is, do you say "deteriorating rapidly"? I think you need to be candid. No need to send anybody on a guilt trip; just answer their questions honestly.

Did they interact with him more before the dementia developed? I agree with IloveMom's suggestion to invite them over. If your limitations made entertaining difficult, keep the event very manageable. It doesn't have to be a fancy dinner party! Or, if the two of you are up to it, how about meeting at a restaurant? Provide opportunities for them to spend time with their father, but also realize that you are not responsible for their interactions.

notrydoyoda Jan 2015
How far do they live from ya'll?

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IloveMom Jan 2015
Invite them over for a visit, tell them you would love them to come over and visit, it's been awhile and WE miss you... make it fun..

Was there any conflict on you marrying your husband from his kids? 20 year difference, maybe kids didn't understand back then, but know you both are older and taking care of each other, LOVE...DEDICATION.... step kids need to see this, so invite them over..life is too short....I hope it works out for all of you.. Take care.

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