My Dad needs more higher level of care. Any advice?

I wish my mom would take an antidepressant....she is 'down' all the time. I go to visit or run errands, dr appts, or whatever, and she doesnt talk...but wants and expects me to come over a lot for company. My sister has cancer and had 2 strokes so she isnt mentally 'all there'...not much better than mom... and so she never comes to moms and my other sister passed away 10 yrs ago. I dont know if her 'mixed up' feeling, as she calls it, (alzheimers) is making her so quiet these days or if shes depressed. She wudnt take anything anyway for depression ... in 'her' generation thats a sign of weakness. Im gonna try to convince her to go to an adult day center next week since it should be sunny and warm, in the hopes that she will agree to going a few days a week. Doubt she will as she says she doesnt want to be around a bunch of folks who are crazy! I think its worth a try IF she will try it. Im tired of feeling guilty for not wanting to go just sit over there when she cant carry on a conversation and only wants someone around.

My Mom too was on Aricept soon after she was diagnosed. It causes even worse diarrhea than normal for her and she had terrible nightmares. She did not take aricept very long.

I asked my moms doctor if Aricept might help her. He said he usually prescribed it when he prescribed Namenda. He gave her 5 mg. I put in her meds for a few days and she got crazy too. I cut some in half for a few days and she was still hallucinating, so I stopped them. When I told the dr., he said I did the right thing.
She is hard enough to deal with without a med giving her all those crazy thoughts.
I agree with others about talking to your dads doctor. Don't be shy. Tell him the good bad and ugly. It could be a bad combination of meds, be sure to ask the Dr. or a pharmacist to check their effects. We all hope the best for you and your dad.

#1.....Is he living on his own? Safety reasons. #2.....Again, has he seen his doctor for eval? #3....Could be medication dosage. Getting back to his doctor for evaluation, it could be just a little tweaking of medications or could be dementia. You didn't say how old or what other problems he has had but he needs a good evaluation with his doctor. Beware of his great behavior with doctor.....you would have never known my mother had something wrong unless you spent more than 20 minutes with her. At first she was so social and completely coherent. Then....after 15 or 20 minutes THAT's when the repeat questions would start. Keep records and documentation ready for doctor. A 10 minute visit isn't going to fix this. God Bless

Yes, I corresponded with my mom's doctor for a couple of years before she went into AL. She would be dead know if I hadn't stopped him form giving her Ambien--that made her crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And so dangerous! she was walking around the house in the middle of the night mumbling and completely out of it. I believe that made the dementia much worse. And I also started going to her appointments with her. That was incredibly frustrating because she was "showboating," showing him her perky, positive self while making my life a pure misery. I didn't know whether to interrupt and tell the truth or just suck it up. All's well that ends well--she is in AL now, safe and getting her meds.

Then have him assessed by a neurologist, and when the results are in, make changes in your own mind deciding if you can deal with and manage a person with dementia. Most men are resistant to getting help, so he is not unusual. Allow him to do what he can do on his own, and when he repeats things over and over, this is a symptom of dementia. Learn all you can at www.alz.org.

My mother started this way also...repeating all the time. Now she doesnt remember what she said or asked within the last 5 minutes. So far she is still able to live alone and handle her meds/hygiene. But she cant walk very far at all even with her walker...she no longer can balance her checkbook or follow conversations (too much info to remember). Every day she tells me 'I dont know why im so mixed up today'. She is very proud too and it will be a bad day when i have to use my POA to bring in help or place her in a memory care home. Keep your dads doctor informed of what youre seeing ... i fax letters to moms doctor so i can keep him informed without embarassing her during her appts.

Poohbus,

You have come to the right place. Keep reading! But also, start gathering information. Talk to his doctor, a geriatric doctor, local assisted living places, Visit, talk. Compare prices. Keep a note book with all the information. You are embarking upon a journey.

Big hug and good luck!

I agree with Windy sounds like dementia may be an issue. Does anybody have Dad's powers of attorney? Does anybody live with him? Who takes him to the doctor? Has anybody told his doctor, other than him, difficulties he is having? I think it is especially hard on men as they age particularly if they were good providers and independent. Nobody wants to lose their independence but it is rare for the elderly to not need some sort of help. Early in dementia many are very good at covering up problems. And families inexperienced at recognizing symptoms of health problems prefer to remain in denial. It is very difficult recognizing and acknowledging that the time has come to become parents to our parents. If there are not Powers of Attorney in place, get that done now. It will save you many headaches down the road. Use an elder law attorney to assist.

When was his last evaluation at his doctor's. A doctor's visit would be first on my to do list.

You are probably dealing with some level of dementia. If you post more details such as, living at home...who is caregiving etc. people can better respond with advice. But just guessing, it may be time to look at assited living.