Can squabbling aunts take grandparents against our Will?

That was very helpful "GardenArtist". the DPOA looks to be our favor and is witnessed and notarized. And the physician is very aware of current updates. She has a free ear and advice and has met with my mom and dad and realizes there are family problems. She documents everything. One aunt lives in Dallas, 2 in San Antonio and one in Chicago. We are in Austin. Three of them are, in my opinion, close enough to help out just a little, or maybe a lot.The aunts come on what my mom calls "Santa Clause" visits. But of course, never for the actual holidays, because "they have their own families to be with." They come once, maybe twice a year, one birthdays and in July when the Aunt in Chicago comes to Texas to reunite with the other sisters. This of course ALWAYS turns out to be a couple of hours visit with them and the rest of the weekend is a beer & bar-b-que party amongst the sisters. They did come take them out to get a bite a couple of months ago. We had them dressed nicely thinking it would be a restaurant dinner. They came back 30 minutes later with to-go fast food boxes from the Dairy Queen (??!!) So far my dad and I have been able to prevent the out of town excursions with great heated discussions with them. Grandad doesn't want to go anywhere. He is only comfortable in his familiar surroundings. And no, he does not recognize most of the daughters when they come, and he is confused. We are currently working with the physician to do a psych eval for granny seeing how she threatens to "kill herself if we take away her phone!" Whether she was serious or just wanting attention didn't matter to me. I called the physician anyway. She asks everyone and ANYONE to help her pull out $$ from her bank account and savings (all of the savings) to wire to a son who is out of town. This the one who is hooked on drugs. I recently found out she has been having the lady across the street "her friend" to wire the money. This neighbor is a total stranger to us!! Well, already quite exhausted and frustrated, I am foreseeing a total blow up with the aunts when dad and I have to make a decision on her future, being nursing facilities as there are no other options for her. They all "do not want them"(and this is a repeated quote from them). But none the less, they will try to interfere and make it difficult...as always :(

I don't understand how they can be too busy to help but not too busy to take them out of town? What are these out-of-town excursions? How far away do they live, and would the excursions be overnight or just for a few hours?

As to impulsive trips, that wouldn't fit with your schedule; you would require advance notice.

I don't really understand what's going on if they want to take your grandparents on impulsive trips but perhaps that's all they're capable of doing - they may not be able to handle the caregiving aspects.

I think that it would be confusing for both to suddenly be taken out of town, especially for someone with dementia and another with anxiety issues.

You'd have to review your DPOA and see if it grants authority to restrict movement, including with relatives.

If you want medical backup, which I think might be appropriate, ask their internists or PCPs about the visits, and whether it might cause confusion and be detrimental to their health. Check the medical POA to see if it covers those kinds of conditions. Depending on whether it was drafted by a good EP attorney or is just a downloadable Internet form, it may have broad authority to restrict activities that aren't healthful, such as out of town visits.

Alternately, suggest that the family come and visit at your house; if there's not enough room, you can always plan a picnic locally at a park, or someplace that's not so unique that it causes confusion for your GPs.

But be sure to be back before dark if there's any sundowning involved. I would think that just seeing relatives who aren't around much would cause some confusion for your grandfather.