I agree that it is important that the cousin does not abuse her POA (even assuming it stands) and especially that she does not bully her uncle into making decisions he is unhappy with.
But before the cousin gets shoo-ed off the scene completely, does anyone have any suggestions about how a blind lady and an elderly gentleman with dementia are going to cope alone in a family house set in its own land? I don't want to be guilty of stereotyping, but bearing in mind how many sighted people struggle with the bureaucracy involved in elder care, how is the friend going to handle the POA? What will she do if father goes wandering in the middle of the night? What if the pharmacist unthinkingly supplies meds without Braille labels? Who's doing the cooking? - or more to the point the fire extinguishing when a pan gets forgotten?
I'm sure there would be ways of managing. I am aware that there are, and should be, no obstacles to people with all kinds of disabilities leading independent lives. But managing dementia alone? Many people find that overwhelming in much more straightforward situations.
Here is a link describing how to revoke a POA, just in case you want real assurance that the cousin cannot move forward. http://www.wikihow.com/Revoke-Power-of-Attorney And, just for the record, even if she has POA, all that serves is that she can act on BEHALF of the Principal. She cannot do anything that he does NOT want to do. It's not like a Guardianship. Lastly, your friend and her dad should get a Will stating that the property goes to her upon his death. Better safe than sorry and it will alleviate all the worry.
If your friend's father recently signed a new POA, all other POA's signed prior are null and void (assuming the current POA is proper and signed while he was competent).
Zzoejane, I'm afraid you're not going to like this, but what you describe is how POA is actually supposed to work. The principal - your friend's father - plans POA early on, while he is fit and well, and the POA then just sits there until it's needed, at which time the person who was appointed to act is responsible for taking the best decisions possible on the principal's behalf.
That's not to say that it's all right for the family just to ride roughshod over your friend's and her father's wishes. The cousin should try to work with them to find a solution they can accept.
But look at this practically. Your friend's father will not be able to continue to be her primary caregiver. Before long, he will need a good deal of help and support himself, and it isn't likely that she'd be able to look after him - dementia is a (excuse me) b*stard disease, often too much for anyone to cope with let alone a person with impaired vision. They just wouldn't be safe alone together.
From the family's point of view, you can see that it would be very much the easiest thing to sell their current property and use the money to fund care and supported living facilities for them respectively.
If they don't want to leave home, and of course anyone can understand that, then what's the alternative? What kind of assistance would they need to stay put and be safe? Is there any possibility of a) finding enough support and b) paying for it? - because it would cost a fortune.
Look ahead, too. Yes, the POA does come to an end on the decease of the principal, that is true. But how is your friend planning to stay on in the family home once her father has passed away?
This is a sad and stressful time for your friend and her father, and I do sympathise. But wishing things were different won't help them. See what you can do to get everyone to work together to make the best of things as they really are.
A friend of mine, she is blind, and resides with her father, who is gradually showing signs of Demensia. She gets around fairly well because she has lived there most of her life. She is in her early 50's. The problem that has recently came to attention is, a family relative contacted the home making statements about putting the father in a home then selling the property. Mind you this person lives like 100 miles away and is only a cousin of my friend whom is the daughter and closest to the father. My friend is the only child that lives at the home, the other two siblings rarely ever come to visit and just want to do the same as the cousin, put the dad away and start proceedings on the land. The father doesn't want this or my friend. So the last message was so rudely stated, that nothing matters because the cousin had taken the father to the doctors and spoke to the doctor, also stating she has power of attorney. It is highly doubted that she does, since she took him to the doctors, like nearly 4 years ago and this is the first time anyone has said anything. I am thinking, if she had that power, then where has she been all these past years, and why now all of a sudden. I asked the question because I want to be able to assure my friend and her dad, that they are just being bully's, little do they know, my blind friend has power of attorney that her and her father just recently signed. But I told her that when he passed the power is then finished, it ends when he does. Now they are worried that they finalized the POA and it will not work to save them from having to give up the family land.
Power of Attorney cannot be gained, or taken, by anybody. It must be *given* by a competent principal to the person he or she wishes to appoint. Perhaps you can explain in what circumstances a person in his right mind could do this without being aware of it?
If you are talking about somebody forging signatures, or obtaining POA from a confused elderly person who does not understand what he or she is signing, such activities would be criminal and the POA would have no validity. Neither can a POA be altered by anybody except the principal - one name substituted for another, additional authorities granted, that sort of thing.
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But before the cousin gets shoo-ed off the scene completely, does anyone have any suggestions about how a blind lady and an elderly gentleman with dementia are going to cope alone in a family house set in its own land? I don't want to be guilty of stereotyping, but bearing in mind how many sighted people struggle with the bureaucracy involved in elder care, how is the friend going to handle the POA? What will she do if father goes wandering in the middle of the night? What if the pharmacist unthinkingly supplies meds without Braille labels? Who's doing the cooking? - or more to the point the fire extinguishing when a pan gets forgotten?
I'm sure there would be ways of managing. I am aware that there are, and should be, no obstacles to people with all kinds of disabilities leading independent lives. But managing dementia alone? Many people find that overwhelming in much more straightforward situations.
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That's not to say that it's all right for the family just to ride roughshod over your friend's and her father's wishes. The cousin should try to work with them to find a solution they can accept.
But look at this practically. Your friend's father will not be able to continue to be her primary caregiver. Before long, he will need a good deal of help and support himself, and it isn't likely that she'd be able to look after him - dementia is a (excuse me) b*stard disease, often too much for anyone to cope with let alone a person with impaired vision. They just wouldn't be safe alone together.
From the family's point of view, you can see that it would be very much the easiest thing to sell their current property and use the money to fund care and supported living facilities for them respectively.
If they don't want to leave home, and of course anyone can understand that, then what's the alternative? What kind of assistance would they need to stay put and be safe? Is there any possibility of a) finding enough support and b) paying for it? - because it would cost a fortune.
Look ahead, too. Yes, the POA does come to an end on the decease of the principal, that is true. But how is your friend planning to stay on in the family home once her father has passed away?
This is a sad and stressful time for your friend and her father, and I do sympathise. But wishing things were different won't help them. See what you can do to get everyone to work together to make the best of things as they really are.
Power of Attorney cannot be gained, or taken, by anybody. It must be *given* by a competent principal to the person he or she wishes to appoint. Perhaps you can explain in what circumstances a person in his right mind could do this without being aware of it?
If you are talking about somebody forging signatures, or obtaining POA from a confused elderly person who does not understand what he or she is signing, such activities would be criminal and the POA would have no validity. Neither can a POA be altered by anybody except the principal - one name substituted for another, additional authorities granted, that sort of thing.
What is going on that you are concerned about?