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Sarahk60 Asked January 2018

Mom with signs of dementia and severe depression...where should I take her?

I recently posted about my mom who has yet to be diagnosed. We can't get her into the car to see a doctor. I had mentioned her combative personality and today she has been crying on and off. Sobbing, actually. This crying seems like a mental breakdown and has been happening on and off for weeks. She says she has nothing to live for and talks about death often. She never says she'll hurt herself, but says she's through living. If we call 911 she could probably calm down enough that they wouldn't take her in. I mean, she's not physically trying to harm herself. IF I can get her into the car...where should I take her? Urgent care or emergency? What if I can't get her into the car? I just feel sick tonight. I hate that she's hurting. I want us all to have great memories of her.

BarbBrooklyn Jan 2018
Can you get her into the car to go to lunch? Go to lunch ( or breakfast) and have arranged an appointment with regular doctor, or with a geriatric psychiatrist.

Prepare for this by getting some video footage of her " spells" which you can play for the doctor while she's at the office, so the depth of her suffering is not dependent upon your description, nor able to be swept aside by her plausible denial and statements to the effect that you're exaggerating.

Sarahk60 Jan 2018
Thank you. The hard part is that she's in and out of the mood. So she is more aware than not...if that makes sense. I don't want to escalate the situation. I discussed with her that we should have her see a geriatric psych...but I'm sure she's already forgotten our conversation.

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surprise Jan 2018
Can you call her pcp and find out if they can help you obtain a mental hold in the hospital for her? Some places it's called Baker act, others cite a state statute number. It sounds like she needs medication but is unwilling- the exact reason for an involuntary commitment. Take care of what she needs, not what she wants.

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