VNA said they could no longer come and at times were very bossy.One made a wrong and upsetting diagnosis. Was told by them my mom did not qualify for hospice. Her Dr. said she may qualify for bridge to hospice. I am overwhelmed with it all; try my very best, have no life of my own for years now, am feeling afraid of what exactly this service is that is if she gets approved. Don't want her to die but can't stand her pain and bad quality of life. I am sick. Can anyone tell me if they have experience with bridge and what you think of it?? I'm feeling afraid and want my mother home and this is taking so much out of me. My mother does not want to go to a home, has said she would rather be dead than be in one of those places. Any help appreciated. Thank you.
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Here is one example of what I mean: Palliative Care was trying to get a hospital bed for my husband for the 3 weeks they worked with us. I signed the Hospice papers at 4 in the afternoon and had a bed delivered before 8 pm that night! One of the huge benefits of Hospice is they cut through red tape. They had a lot of discretion to just go ahead and order things.
My husband had a personal care attendant, which we kept through the hospice period. He slept a lot and PCA was bored a lot, but it did provide me with some down time.
If your mother's doctor would order a PCA or similar assistance that would be a good thing. Why isn't the visiting nurse coming anymore? In any case, your mother may not need that skill level but still qualify for some daily help.
Our experience with Hospice was similar to Grammyteacher's description.
Oh, and of course you don't want your dear mother to die! You love her. But you also understand that dementia is a terminal illness, she is in late stage, and she is going to die. Whether she has hospice care or not, this will happen on its own timetable. Hospice isn't going to prevent it or cause it. They hope to remove or reduce the suffering through this process.
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