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anonymous262233 Asked March 2018

How to acclimate dad to change?

so if you've been keeping up with my ongoing drama with my Dad and the Adult Day Center, you know that I decided to abruptly pull Dad out.

So far, I've been getting by with telling Dad that he's just not going today, but he's starting to question why he's not going. To make matters worse, he thinks that he's done something wrong. He keeps attaching the driver yelling at him that last day (and leaving him) to thinking he did something wrong and that he's been kicked out.

I keep trying to assure him that everything is OK, but it's kinda stuck in his head that he somehow is responsible for being dismissed. I haven't had a chance to really dig into the issue since I'm on a work trip, but I feel AWFUL! I feel like I took something from Dad that keeps him happy.

Is there anything I can say or do to help him understand that this was NOT his fault? He sounds so sad ...

JoAnn29 Mar 2018
What a shame but I do think you did the right thing for ur sanity. I used to call the AL ahead telling them I needed Mom ready for an appt. I always left early for the AL Just in case. One time her breakfast was all down her. They wouldn't put a bib on her. They next time they had her down for a nap. Have you ever woke up a Dementia patient? They r out of it. Be honest I guess. Tell him DC didn't work out. The two facilities can't work together to make sure all his needs or met. Or tell a white lie but telling him it was getting expensive.

talkey Mar 2018
Oh, how I wish the facility staff would step up and help him thru this. They could intervene with any number of helpful 'activities' or even something they 'need' his help with.

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