I don't even know how to help mom. Any suggestions?

I will keep it as short as possible.
My mom is bed ridden now. My father is her care taker, or at least we thought he was care taking her...She can not get up and use the bathroom or move out of bed without help. She has tumors of fat deposits on her spine and neuropathy so bad she can't move her legs. They are also extreme hoarders. Very bad. I mean TV show level bad. I am hyper allergic (have to have an epi pen art all times) to mold and mildew, so I can not enter their home to help them. Last time I tried to visit them I was in the ER for a reaction and breathing treatment. It could have been much worse. Dad clearly can not care for mom anymore or has given up trying, they have a two story house, and he can't get her out of the home to Dr's offices without help, and he won't take help or ask for it because of the shame of hoarding. I live five hours away, and am trying to find out if I can force their hand and have mom put into some kind of respite care. This has happened before, and she went to physical therepy and got much better, as soon as she came home it all returned to normal. So however I am totally new to this. My father would not give us any medical information or help make decisions on her health. It seems there is a 5 year waiting list for funding on respite care and I literally can not move home and in with my family or I could end up going into shock. I don't know what my legal options are to help them. It is a very hard situation and mom wants help half the time, half the time she says she just wants to lay there and die (Clearly that is not an option, as she deals with very bad depression.) My father seems to lie about her health to us and now mom has been heard in the background screaming how she has colon cancer and is filled with cancer. Dad says she is just drunk and yelling and it is not true. Both are alcoholics. Their relationship is very strained with all 4 of their daughters. I am currently the only one who speaks to them on a regular basis. I just am at a loss what I can do to help them, if I can help them, or if I can force the issue legally. Any and all information would be helpful. I realize this is a very huge and stressed post but I dont know where to reach out too. Thank you for any information.