Can traumatic events like my dad starting hospice cause cause my mom to suddenly display dementia symptoms.
My wife and I have visited everyday, taking a grandchild, bought groceries, picked up meds, provided cell phone service, food, etc.
Suddenly we are out of favor.
My absent for months little sister has been granted power of attorney.
Today they purchased the funeral without including me.
I am very hurt by all of this and I feel used and dismissed.
Can it be dementia? She is 84.
The good son is not good enough.
2 Answers
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First
It's likely not you, and if you read enough on the forum, you may find so many others in similar straits.
A part of this falls under: "No good deed goes unpunished".
Sorry that you will be losing your Dad. And Mom is likely beside herself.
You are good enough, or you would not be asking your question or caring at all what your Mom is thinking or feeling. So can you just keep caring, giving of yourself, and let the hurt feelings go?
I could say the POA is not about you, because it is not. But you are family. Mom has to work closely with POA sister, and hope she steps up, and you offer to help your sister, good son that you are.
If you feel used, just stop spending money on Mom or anyone for awhile, until it becomes clear that it is your choice, and not required of you. Ok?
Do you and your sister get along? In my experience, there is no room for egos in eldercare.
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