Faking symptoms for attention?

Sunmama, I'm going to be honest. I have often wondered the same thing about my mother (66yrs). She was hospitalized for a week approximately seven weeks ago for a COPD exacerbation and AFIB. She went to rehab and demanded to be sent home only to realize she couldn't take care of herself. She hired a care companion (who is not trained as a caregiver) who has cleaned her hoarded apartment and catered to her every whim. For the past five weeks, she has sat in her recliner doing very little of anything other than watching television. The companion was scheduled to leave for the Thanksgiving weekend. Originally, that was to be the end of the contract. Coincidentally, the day before she was to leave, mother had an incident. The incident was caused by her not taking all (or any) of her medications and breathing treatments. The companion didn't push her to take them and her oxygen levels dropped extremely low making it necessary that she could not be left alone for the weekend. It being the day before Thanksgiving, there were no available companions/caregivers to fill in last minute. She tried to convince the companion to cancel her weekend plans. Instead, I had to be the caregiver for that holiday weekend. Two days in, she was walking around very well and doing things on her own. She wanted me to go home. I wouldn't cater to her every whim and I made sure she took her pills and treatments exactly as prescribed. The transformation was miraculous. Going from barely being able to walk with a walker to walking unaided overnight with barely a tremor in sight. (4:00 am and she was making herself breakfast) The day after the companion returned, she was back to being unable to walk well, very shaky and needing assistance, and now even requiring a wheelchair to be pushed around for her medical appointments.

If this were isolated, I might dismiss it, but there have been other such examples. She has been using a rollator/cane for some time now. Her speed of walking has been quite slow. Imagine my surprise when she practically sprinted into the Verizon store when it was time to upgrade her phone (she calls it her toy). Once the purchase was underway, and the boring contract and set up part started, she was back to walking like a little old woman very slowly and needing assistance. It's possible it's all coincidental, but admittedly, I've wondered if she exaggerates her infirmities to garner the extra attention.

I don't know if he is faking. But I wanted you to know that you're not alone in feeling that way. You're not crazy or unreasonable for questioning it.

Sunmama, I am so sorry you have to go through this. My husband doesn’t have dementia but is bedridden, I work with young children and when I get home from work, I can definitely see comparisons. I. The early stages of dementia, my mother became enamored of calling 911.

Depending in his medication schedule, your husband may be at the tail end of its effectiveness before he takes another dose. Can you ask his PCP?

I know it can be hard and tiring.  It is very difficult watching a love ones health diminish. I hope he was a good husband to you because the attention he wants maybe what he was use to or expect now that he does not have control of his movements.  Should you give him sympathy?  I don't know? Would you want sympathy if you were sick, blind and unable to manage your body movement for the simple things like getting dress, eating, bathing, or just feeling love from the person who you promise to love through sickness and health, until death do you part????  Please call your State or government Agency to see if they can provide a helper or caregiver for a few hours per day. So, you can recuperate. It is very  painful mentally and emotionally, watching a love one suffer. In the long run, we tend to lash out because it is difficult to process so much hurt.  Try to find a support group if you can. Talking it out helps.

Your husband has Parkinson's Disease?

It is possible that his shaking gets worse when he is frustrated or anxious, but I do not think you can safely assume that he is faking symptoms for attention.

Do you have any help or support with caring for your husband? When was he diagnosed?