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Jennifer3 Asked February 2019

How can I stop my husband from wandering at night?

When I put my husband (89 ALZ) to bed I make him use the toilet and I put his dry diaper on him. I tell him, “It’s night time, do not come out of your room until morning, when you see the sun in the window.” He says okay and goes to bed between 8-9pm usually. Before I go to bed, around 10p, I look in on him and if he is in his chair, we go through the bed time routine again. I don’t mind him getting up in the night and sitting in his chair, I just don’t think it’s safe for him to wander around the house. In the day time I direct him to his chair in the living room because he will not wash his hands with soap so I don’t like him going in the pantry or fridge. I do leave a variety of snacks on the counter for him, and I prepare and bring him three meals a day as well as his snack if he hasn’t gotten one off the counter. How can I make him stay in his room at night? He has no memory of it the next day. Last night he was in bed at 10p and at 2a I could see the breakfast room light on, so I went out and he had already eaten bread, cheese, a banana, applesauce, and yogurt. I took what was left on the table and put it away and took him back to bed. At 4:30a he was again at the table in the breakfast room, but this time he had not started to eat, he was still unloading things from the fridge to the table. He only does this a couple of times a week, but it’s frustrating. I plan on buying a child lock for the fridge, but that will not keep him in his room at night. Thanks in advance for any advice.

Grandma1954 Feb 2019
The main problem with telling him not to get out of bed or leave the room is...He does not remember you told him to stay in the room , or that he said he would.

The problem with clocks that he could easily see the numbers...He probably does not know how to tell the time any longer, or he would not remember that you said not to get out of the room until XX:XX..whatever time you tell him.

The problem with signs..he may not know how to read anymore or he does not know what the sign means.

The safest thing is an alarm that will signal you that he has left the room or has gotten out of bed,.
There are bed alarms
There are alarms that look like a doorstop that you can put by the door and when the door hits the door stop it will sound an alarm. These usually only work as the door is opened so if the door opens in you could not use it.
There are alarms that you can place on a doorjamb and it has an infrared beam that when broken will ring a buzzer, that portion could be put in the room you sleep in.
There are bed alarms that if he moves off the bed the alarm will alert you. Problem with these is some are very sensitive and even a restless night may cause the alarm to go off.
There are alarms that go on the floor so when he stands up on the alarm it will let you know he is out of bed.
Since you are in your own house there are no restrictions on restraints you could get a hospital bed and put the sides up. the major problem with that is if he truly wants to get out of bed he may try climbing over the side rail.
I would advise against a gate for the same reason, he may try stepping over it. And you might as well if you wanted to get something in the other room, it is easier to step over it than remove or open it. And the ones that have an opening have a bar across the bottom that can be a trip hazard.

If it does not bother you that he is up, and he is safe, maybe lock the foods that you do not want him to eat and leave out a snack that he can have, a piece of fruit, some juice. If he is safe, and not a fall risk this might be a minor thing and I learned early on to pick your battles when it comes to restricting what he does and does not do. My Husband would get hold of a box of cookies and eat the whole thing so I would leave the box where he could find it but I would only leave 3, 4 or 5 cookies..he was happy that he "sneaked the cookies" and I was glad that he did not eat the entire box. Win-Win.

Another thought is he at risk of leaving the house? If so you might want to consider a tracking devise that you can use to help find him if he does leave.

cwillie Feb 2019
Sleep disturbances are very frustrating because we caregivers can't continue to function on little sleep, it's one of the reasons many decide to move those they care for into a facility.
I'd be worried that any physical barriers like gates or or locks could cause him to become frustrated which might result in him lashing out, I think the stop sign is a good alternative to that but it isn't a guarantee. You might also want to invest in an alarm that lets you know when he is exiting his room such as a motion sensor or an alarm mat in front of his bedroom door, you need to be on top of what he is up to when he wanders at night because he could potentially attempt to do something dangerous or even leave your home.

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Segoline Feb 2019
Jennifer, they work in my mom's memory care. Good luck.

Also, if you want to buy one of those day date clocks, recently christened as dementia clocks, go to Amazon or elsewhere and look for atomic clock. They are cheaper under that classification.

Jennifer3 Feb 2019
I’m ordering a stop sign banner to hang up at night. I thought of the knob cover, but didn’t want it to be considered a fire hazard because he could not get out. I’m buying childlocks for the refrigerator today. Thank you ☺️

Segoline Feb 2019
I don't know if this would be helpful in your situation but the stop signs are used in my mom's MC. Theirs is a wide horizontal banner which velcroes, with large stop sign on it.

Similar here

https://www.alzstore.com/stop-sign-banner-p/0134.htm
Jennifer3 Feb 2019
I actually thought of making one of these. I just went to the sight to order one. Thank you so much!
JoAnn29 Feb 2019
Because Mom was in a lower room with steps up to the main floor, I live in a split level, I gated her in at night. Maybe a half door with a lock DH can't reach. I used baby grips on the door knobs so she couldn't get out of the house. They just go round and round.

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