Mom is not eating. I know we can’t force her to eat, but any other suggestions?

My Mom isn't eating either. At first, we tried everything, we started feeding her yogurt, ice cream, and broth. And for quite a while now she only likes hot chocolate. She is drinking very little of that anymore. It's been a good 3 months since she has eaten anything substantial.

After talking to nurses and hospice and reading articles, I've come to realize that they get to a point in their lives that their bodies start to shut down so they do not care to eat anything. We do not force her to eat. WE offer the same things as before and if she wants any of them, we feed her, if not, we don't.

What amazes me is how long someone can survive with so little food. It has been tough for me to see her in this condition. She has lost a lot of weight, is bed bound, but is still mentally alert. Her vitals have been good. My Mother just turned 92 this month. I have heard some folks can last a long time without eating. We shall see. All we can do at this point is keep them comfortable as possible. Good luck to you..

I am in favor of letting nature take its course. If someone has stopped eating, this is God and Nature's way of letting life come to an end. It is in my healthcare directions that I do NOT want a feeding tube under any conditions.

Give her special things! You didn't say she can't swallow, so why the pureed food and Ensure, yuck. Joy is key, not nutrition right now. I vote for a sundae with whipped cream, nuts and a cherry! Btw that would give her protein, fat, and calcium. :D Or what were her favorite foods? If these don't work, it is possible that she is just ready to go. Best wishes to you in this time.

Can you make her some shakes? First, you need to get a really good blender, such as a Ninja(I bought a refurb one online/half price). I make my dad really good healthy shakes. Just a variety of them. I always put a handful of spinach, one carrot, a scoop of protein powder and 2 tablespoons or more of jello(made up, can use sugar-free).
Other fruits/veggies/nuts include fresh pineapple, raw squash(yellow, butternut, zucchini), cucumbers, an avocado, apples, strawberries, blueberries, oranges, lemons, broccoli, beets, walnuts, bananas, mango. I use just a 1/4 cup to 1/2 cup of different items.
When blender is 3/4 full, add enough water(I fill it half way) until the desired consistency. I, also, add 2 Vit C & multi B vitamin. If your mom has a favorite flavor, such as strawberry, use strawberry jello for flavor. Blend for awhile, so all is frothy and creamy.

I hope when I am so old that I need surgery and the surgery does not work and I’m tired of living that no one will force me to eat. Let me die in peace.

My Mom went through this. She stopped eating. She was on hospice care and only ate a little ice cream every day and drank a little bit. She lasted 5 1/2 weeks. She died on 1/12/19. She was 92 1/2. It is hard for me to day this. I miss her terribly.

She doesn’t “have” to eat. A person can live a long time without food. I have no idea how aware she is, or her complete mental and physical condition, but perhaps she just doesn’t feel like eating or is tired of having food poked at her. Keeping her hydrated with fluids is what counts, even if it’s minimally hydrated. I’d follow her cues on the food

If you think she's at the end of life, talk to her and ask her. If the answer is yes, (or if she's unable to respond) please think about contacting hospice.  My Mama was in rehab after surgery for broken femur, came home and after two ER trips, came home and her body started decreasing the amount of food she could take in. My Daddy talked with her and she was ready for hospice to come in.  Her body was tired, and her mind was tired of fighting an uphill battle, so hospice was brought in after my Daddy talked with the family doctor.  Hospice made her so comfortable and helped us as she let go.  Hardest thing we have ever done, but I can say the not eating was a sign for her, my Daddy and me to know it was time to help her not be in pain anymore. Talk with your Mom and let her know she is in control of what happens next.  Hugs to you as you continue on this journey.

When a person's body is shutting down, they lose the desire to eat. Hospice said to give my husband whatever he wanted and if he didn't want to eat, not to force him to eat. A dying body doesn't need food. I was told that "not eating" is harder on the people who love him than it is on the person himself. Sometimes we try to keep people alive when their body is trying to let them die. It has taken me a long time to understand this, but now I let my husband eat whatever he wants to eat or to not eat anything when he doesn't feel like eating. Is he losing weight? Yes, but he is happy and I want him to be happy.

I had/have the same issue with my Father who is 91. What I do is use a baby grinder to grind the foods that I know he loves. I then started with very small portions - maybe just a couple tablespoons at a time, in little pretty bowls. I would distract him while I fed him. I stopped when he wanted and then made sure he had nutritional fluids to sip on during the day. We joked about my feeding him, all the while telling him it was to help grow his stomache. I would tell him how much I love him and need him, and how proud I am when he puts on even one pound. He currently weighs 115 lbs...but was down to 105 Lbs in November. He feeds himself now but I still have to remind him occasionally that it is meal time. I hope this helps!! One word of warning, bullying or pushing them to eat only makes it harder on them. Distraction, love, making it fun goes a LONG ways towards growing their stomache so they desire food again.