Mom's step kids want to dole out money before she is gone. Any advice?

Cat, I'm laughing loudly - your stepsister is going to take you to court to force you to give your consent to a premature distribution of your mother's estate, is she?

Bring it on!

I think she was not listening to what her attorney told her. I think she heard what she wanted to hear.

After your mother has passed away - may she live forever - if all beneficiaries of an estate agree then a portion of the estate can be distributed before the estate has been through probate. I have a suspicion that that is what the attorney was trying to explain to her: that you won't all have to wait for probate to complete, which is good news because it can take ages.

But not she nor you nor anybody, not even if the world gives its blessing, can help themselves to your mother's money in anticipation of a future bequest.

Your stepsister is plain wrong.

That is not ok, this is pure greed.Who has her POA? If it is you, you need to block them, the money she has is for her, not them, to provide for her as long as she lives.

May your mother outlive your stepsisters.

Yes and if she doesn’t live past five years and needs care, Medicaid won’t cover it until penalty period equal to money gifted is satisfied or they pay money back. They have to wait five years after gifting before they need Medicaid. And many states don’t cover memory care with Medicaid. So if she lives less than five years you’d better dig deep in your pockets cause private care can easily run $5-10,000 per month. And the people needing it now won’t have it to repay...

No, no, no.

That is reprehensible and they should get a second or third or maybe a 1st job to pay their own way.

It is not their inheritance until she passes and then only if it is in her will or trust.

Tell them if they touch the money you will turn to law enforcement for their financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior.

Cat, I don't believe that an attorney told your sister that she can start distributing your moms cash assets. I would put your objection in writing, send a certified copy to all involved including her attorney and then file for guardianship of your mom.

I would find my own attorney because this will probably be a battle, but it is necessary to protect your mom, no one knows how long she has and to surmise otherwise is flat out bs.

It is not, and never has been, OK to steal from your parents!  For heaven's sake, you know how much care costs ...and just how do these kids know mom will never need it, or live longer than five years? Her money is for her care. Period.  Whoever is POA needs to be warned that this is fraud, elder abuse, a criminal offense and needs to guard mom's money like a mama grizzly.  Any attempts to steal from mom, I'd call the cops right away.

I agree. The money is HERS and for her care. If she needs Medicaid in the next 5 yrs. She will be penalized for giving away her money.

I realize that her stepkids probably feel that their father contributed to that money. He should have left them some in his will then. Hopefully she has a will in place where they inherit. For now its your Moms.

Cat, oh good grief, what kind of Attorney would dole out that crazy information? That is so untrue, I don't know where to even begin. Makes me doubt that the step-child even talked to an attorney.

You need to make an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney, this type of attorney specializes in all laws pertaining to Elders. She/he will give you advice on what to do regarding the step-children wanting to hand out the money while your Mom is alive.

Cat, let her take you to court, I doubt that this is what the attorney said, she may have massaged this a bit. The law is very clear as to what someone who has the financial POA can and cannot do. Again I say, this money is there for your mother, not the POA and their gang of thieves.