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LuceeLuv Asked August 2019

My Father is sneaking food in between meals! Should I just let this slide?

My dad is 92 and has Alzheimer's. I guess he's in the mid-stage period. He's still walking and toileting by himself and recently I had to bring him home from an assisted living facility due to financial reasons. He had lost 40lbs in his almost 3yr stay there. I'm trying to beef him back up. His appetite is great and he gets 3 squares a day plus a snack after each meal. Recently I've noticed he's been helping himself to the snacks. Tonight I made him a nice dinner and he only ate half and then asked me when the main course was coming! I told him that was the main course and that I'd be bringing him dessert in a little while. I was out of the room and I heard him the fridge! I walked out and he was getting a snack. I took it back from him, it was a yogurt of which I had given him one earlier and had a different dessert prepared for him. I asked him if he didn't like the meal I prepared for him but didn't get a clear answer. Now I'm wondering if he's "sneaking" too many snacks and not hungry for his main meal?? Any suggestions and or advice from anybody that has been through a similar situation would be most helpful. Thank you!

NYDaughterInLaw Aug 2019
My heart sank when I read "I took [the yogurt] back from him..." Let the man eat whatever he wants. He's earned it.

ML4444 Aug 2019
Let him eat what he wants. At his age, it really isn’t a huge issue anymore. We WISH our father would just eat. Anything.

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NewandTrying Aug 2019
I think I would be inclined to let a 92 year-old eat whatever he wants.

97yroldmom Aug 2019
Lucee
it sounds like he didn’t care for his dinner since he only ate half and then was looking for something more appealing.
If the yogurt is a healthy one and not filled with sugar then I would gladly let him have that.
Just make sure the snacks are on the healthy side and you won’t have to worry.
And do check his weight out against a height chart. Not to make him lose or gain but to recognize when there might be a problem. My aunt is weighed weekly.
We worry about my aunt (92 with dementia) not eating properly and then we have to remind ourselves that at 4’10” and 150 lbs she is clearly not malnourished.

Isthisrealyreal Aug 2019
I would provide him smaller portions more frequently. He has shown you how his body needs to be fed. I personally feel better with smaller portions more frequently. Like 6 meals a day, I consider yogurt a meal, so easy to accomplish.

Sweets are also one of the things that the elderly can still taste, so I am sure that they are more attractive to his senses.

AlvaDeer Aug 2019
I love this. Kind of reminds me of dealing with a two year old. And in many ways it can indeed seem the same sometimes. Good luck. If I am ever put in Assisted living and am then taken back into the bosom of the family, and that bosom comes with potato chips? Well, there isn't a safe safe ENOUGH, I can tell you right now. I would steal your cokes and chips in a SECOND.

cwillie Aug 2019
Unless he was significantly overweight a 40 lb weight loss is pretty significant.
It can be disconcerting (and hurtful) when you take the time and effort to provide good meals and they are rejected, but at this point a balanced diet is much less important than getting enough calories to prevent frailty - nothing he eats at this point of the game is going to significantly change the outcome of this disease.

sandy1955 Aug 2019
People with dementia often lose the ability to discern if they are hungry or not, and the part of the brain that indicates they are full stops working so they have no shut off indicator. They will eat as long as food is available to them and it is not unusual for them to finish eating a meal and immediatly ask when dinner is? They don't remember eating.

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