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anonymous991489 Asked December 2019

How can I get my brother in law into the shower?

He refuses; it's cold, I just took one. Oh I get so frustrated. It's been 5 weeks, and I try daily, now he just refuses. Please help.

pamzimmrrt Dec 2019
My mom can still take her own shower, and we have a handicapped one with bars and a seat,, but she kept complaining it was dark and hard to see. She was right, I had a colored liner and a lace curtain. I got a clear liner, washed the curtain of all the smoke discoloration, and it is now so bright and light in there! I did have to bleach the curtain 2x to get all the yellow/brown out of it, its beautiful again.. but she still can't understand that the smallish bathroom is like a chimney off her TV room, where she smokes like a chimney! But at least for now it's better, and I have plenty of bleach! Maybe he can't see very well? It could also be true that he feels bad having his SIL see him naked? Could hubs take this over?

JoAnn29 Dec 2019
If u haven't, put a shower chair in the shower and handheld shower head. Make sure bathroom is warm if u need to use a small heater. Sit him down and rinse him off. Then soap him up and rinse. Quickly get a towel or two, one for bottom and use other like a shaw. You can then dry him off. When I washed moms hair shecwas sitting and I had her lean over. Rinsed her hair, soaped up, rinse and quickly wiped her face and then towel dried her hair. Do as much as you can in the bathroom where its warm.

To get him to shower tell him he would feel so much better being all clean in clean clothes. He may agree.

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anonymous991489 Dec 2019
Oh my goodness, thank you all, for the suggestions. I really appreciate it. I am going to be more insistent, and if that doesn't work I will have to call in reinforcements. Thank you all again.

freqflyer Dec 2019
Kferrara, I have noticed for myself that taking a shower is like going to the gym for a work out. It can be very exhausting for many seniors.

Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.

Then there is the fear of falling. If your brother-in-law is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. 

Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.

Then if the brother-in-law needs to blow dry his hair, that can be tiring on his arms.

Whew !!

An older person doesn't need to shower daily, twice or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.

What about doing a bath instead of a shower? Only problem sitting down in the tub, and then trying to stand back up. It's quick and easy.Throw in a plastic yellow duck to make the person smile. And for washing one's hair, using a small plastic bucket pour water on one's head, shampoo, rinse using fresh warm water.

Lvnsm1826 Dec 2019
Doing once a week even is good with a care person helping

againx100 Dec 2019
An outsider definitely sounds like something worth trying. It could possibly be a power struggle at this point.

Countrymouse Dec 2019
I should get a home health aide or CNA to tackle this. There could be any number of reasons, or none, for his refusing to shower at your request; but it would at least be worth seeing if he's more comfortable and compliant with a skilled outsider.

Grandma1954 Dec 2019
You don't give him an option. But this is something that your husband might have to take on to begin with.
Another option is to have someone come in and give him a shower you can have someone come in 2 times a week and that will get him into a routine he can expect.

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