I recommend hiring a specialist (occupational therapist) to help you set up safety measures (such as grab bar placement) and a CNA to instruct you with bathing.
These services may be covered. You may feel that having a CNA come in for bathing regularly is a good idea.
Caretaking is a marathon, emotionally and physically. Once in a while a break, especially with a challenging task like bathing, will help you both immensely.
Putting a steady plastic chair with a supporting back in the shower, if the shower is big enough. Have a shower footing on the floor of the shower if in case she stands up. Stay by the shower to make sure she does'nt fall or hurt herself. You may get wet if you need to help.
I have to do this for my 88 yr old aunt that has dementia. She can bath herself, I just have to tell her what to do each step of bathing. It's a slow process but can be accomplish. Just a bit of patience is required
mount handrails (solid mount) all walls, get long extension nozzle to be able to direct the spray. Helping your wife with gentile, understanding, and reassuring the comfort of being clean enhances ones attitude for sure
I bathed 2 particular ladies, one was my mom, who were scared of falling & always C/O being cold. I used a portable heater to heat up the room first. If possible after heating up room, keep the heater in the distant so they'll remain warm during the bath. A walk-in shower with seat, hand held shower head & grab bars are the best. if you need to, wear your bathing suit. Always have clothes & plenty of towels available. Bathe as quick as you can while talking about something enjoyable from their past and dry thoroughly. I start washing the lower portion of the body first, then the top half, if possible have them stand to wash their private area, rinse & have them sit back down, Cover them immediately with one towel over their legs, one around their back/chest area & one on their head if you've washed their hair. You must realize that baths are not needed every day & hair doesn't need to be washed every time a bath is done. Find a good balance for your LO. If they don't want to take a bath sometimes you can bribe them with a treat whether it's something sweet or enjoyable like a back rub. Try to make bathing a positive experience!
If you go to YouTube there are lots of videos on bathing an elderly person safely and completely. With Alzheimer's the person often becomes resistant to bathing. My Dad is 92 with Alzheimer's and would not allow me or Mom to help with a shower, but we hired a caregiver to come 3 days a week and he cooperates with her completely. She talks to him constantly through the whole ordeal, gently suggesting what he can do (raise your arm, lean forward, etc.) I think he sees her as a person of authority in a way. A bed bath is another option, and much safer for you both, and can be less embarrassing for her, since most of her is covered all the time. The method is on YouTube.
If she has Medicare, ask your physician to order Home Health care. An agency will then work with you to see what services will help you. Their bath aides are trained to care for patients like your wife. It can sometimes become like a Spa Day for her.
Hello Louis: There were a few things that helped with the whole bathing experience. I found the biggest obstacles were her fear of falling and getting chilled. I used to get in the shower with my mom when I had to use a tub/ shower combo while caring for her at my home and used a hand held shower head with a gentle stream on warm. I did her body first and then washed her hair. Before getting out of tub, I would wrap her in a cushy towel and lay another one over her head to cover head and shoulders. Next came lotion( still while we were in warm bath tub area) which I applied starting from shoulders on down while she still had towels on. Since we had no grab bars, I’d have her hold on to my hand or lean on my shoulder to get in and out of tub. Later, after she was placed in memory care at a facility, they had shower stalls with a seat for her. When I bathed her there, I had her sit on seat, closed the shower curtain most of the way ( to avoid splashing and drafts) and stood outside aiming gentle stream of warm water at her and had her soap up as I announced which body parts to wash, then I’d rinse her off. I did her hair last. I rinsed her all off from head to toe and did the towel and lotion thing again in the shower stall while she was still warm. Once she was clean, lotioned up and warm, I helped her out and put her in a warm fluffy robe and removed the towels. (No rubbing dry with towels as her skin was very fragile.) I left her damp towels on the floor which helped with any splash issues. She was still a bit damp, so here comes the part she loved. I used a blow dryer to dry her hair and to warm her shoulders. Be sure to stay far enough away to not burn her with the blow dryer. I then “blew her dry” in her robe and that made the robe like a warm blanket. Lastly, I blew dry her privates keeping blow dryer pretty far away and jokingly telling her to “ spread ‘em” to be sure she was dry without rubbing anything. I also made sure she was dry under her breasts to avoid moisture staying trapped there. She was still pretty warm and toasty from the body blow drying, so removing the robe at this time didn’t cause her to stand there shivering. Be sure to keep bathroom door shut until she is dry to avoid drafts. The final pamper was a dusting of corn starch powder. I then put a new dry towel around her before dressing her to keep her warm. I called her bath time spa time and she began looking forward to it rather then dreading it. By getting into a rhythm and ritual, it avoided trying to balance running water, a fearful bather and bathee, and a slippery surface. Bathroom stayed fairly dry too, but it took practice. Good luck as you find what works for you both. For me, the body blow drying part really made things easier in making sure she was dry and comfortable. Once she was dressed, I picked up the wet towels in bathroom and we were done.
My mother didn't like the hand-held shower sprayer; it felt too hard for her, so we used a big plastic bowl of warm soapy water, a washcloth she had control of, and bowls of clean warm water to rinse. She had a shower chair and grab bars, of course. It worked surprisingly well and went quickly.
Dear “SFdaughter”. As a retired RN and primary caregiver I have discovered, over time, that your method is the safest and most efficient means of “bathing” a frail adult. I use a mild Castile soap for privates, making sure to rinse and dry well. Very practical. Great when you don’t have the time to make bath time into a “spa day”.
A little trick I learned to use with myself and Luz was to wipe off as much of the water that was/is remaining on our bodies with the wash cloth and immediately wrap the bath towel around to begin the drying process. talking during the whole process seemed to help. Talk about the bathing, what clothing is going to be put on, even politics. this helped to relax us. A separate dry towel to wrap in until drying is finished. We had a step in tub that she loved and would play in for at least an hour. I allowed her to wash her private areas, her face, and whatever else she could reach and I got to do the rest. It was mentioned about not using soap around the vagina because of infections. I would use the anti-bacterial hand soap to clean followed by a feminine wipe to clean her there as needed during the day. No infections ever. Don't forget the hugs afterwards. they seem to warm thing up good. And they are fun. Good luck
First, get some good quality no rinse soap and shampoo, and she can "bathe" w/o even going into the bathroom. It's a lot safer than managing the bathroom dynamics.
I recently used the no rinse soap from a hospital visit when plumbing problems arose at home, and I felt just as clean as if I had showered. Shampooing takes a bit more effort if long hair is involved, but it's still better than navigating the bathroom dynamics.
2. More discussions on no rinse products can be found in some of these threads: Here are links to several threads on the topic of bathing an elder (some may be duplicates, as the search topic is close in parameters):
3. A poster named Maggie Marshall, who no longer posts here, had some good ideas. Turn bathing into something more of a salon visit than an ordeal. Play your wife's favorite music or do something relaxing before hand. Let her use a no rinse product and wash as much of her body as she can, so she doesn't feel helpless, and/or losing her ability to care for herself.
If you have a dryer, warm up a few towels and keep them handy so she doesn't become chilled, especially in winter.
If you enjoy cool drinks such as lemonade, take a break for some refreshment. Play favorite CDs during the process.
4. Turn bathing from a challenging task into a renewal of your marital closeness, a re-acquaintance and time for the two of you to just relax. It can be done, and it a lot easier than the often unpleasant bathroom tangos. But mood priming is important.
My mother has a shower also with a shower chair. She can get herself into it and the hand held sprayer is down low, so she isn't getting blasted in the face by water. Luckily, she was always a shower taker and didn't mind the 'new apartment' having no tub.
Making the bathing experience comfortable and with no fear of slipping is very important. A senior can have a near miss in the tub and then refuse to bathe again.
Also, plenty of grab bars!! Those things are golden if you're stuck in the tub! I'm only 63, but I want DH to install grab bars this summer. Better safe than sorry!.
And since mother only showers twice a week, she has very gentle body washes, rather than a harsh deodorant soap.
The few times I helped mother bathe, we kept the shower head pointed away from me, and I draped a towel over my shoulders. I didn't come away totally unscathed, but I wasn't dripping wet.
Oh, and have a pile of thick, soft towels on hand to dry her. Many srs cannot take quick temperature changes.
I had a walk in shower installed in the bathroom Mom used. I had a shower chair and a handheld shower head (you can get longer tubing). I had where I could turn the showerer head on and off easily. I would get Mom in and rinse her off. Then I would suds her up and rinse. She could stand, so I had her face away from me holding on to a bar. Washed her backside and had her spread her legs and took the handheld shower head to her private area. I did not use soap in that area. Soap can cause UTIs. Mom had none while living with me.
There are shower chairs where the seat slides out of the tub. The person sits and then you can slide the seat into the tub.
Do you have a shower chair and a hand held shower? I used to have my mom sit and soak her feet while I quickly soaped her body, then rinsed her off with the hand held shower. While she was still capable she took care of her private areas herself, after I started doing that we would take care of that before or after she sat down. After my mom could no longer step into the tub I had her sit with her legs outside the tub (fortunately she was a tall lady) and I was still able to wash her this way without getting the rest of the room wet, but I had to take care of her lower legs and feet separately of course...
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These services may be covered. You may feel that having a CNA come in for bathing regularly is a good idea.
Caretaking is a marathon, emotionally and physically. Once in a while a break, especially with a challenging task like bathing, will help you both immensely.
Stay by the shower to make sure she does'nt fall or hurt herself. You may get wet if you need to help.
I have to do this for my 88 yr old aunt that has dementia. She can bath herself, I just have to tell her what to do each step of bathing. It's a slow process but can be accomplish. Just a bit of patience is required
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A bed bath is another option, and much safer for you both, and can be less embarrassing for her, since most of her is covered all the time. The method is on YouTube.
For me, I have to be naked in the shower with him, otherwise my clothes will be wet. I then wash myself quickly while he is drying himself.
talking during the whole process seemed to help. Talk about the bathing, what clothing is going to be put on, even politics. this helped to relax us.
A separate dry towel to wrap in until drying is finished.
We had a step in tub that she loved and would play in for at least an hour.
I allowed her to wash her private areas, her face, and whatever else she could reach and I got to do the rest.
It was mentioned about not using soap around the vagina because of infections. I would use the anti-bacterial hand soap to clean followed by a feminine wipe to clean her there as needed during the day. No infections ever.
Don't forget the hugs afterwards. they seem to warm thing up good. And they are fun.
Good luck
https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=71L_Xq_FF9H0tAbtu7rgDQ&q=no+rinse+products&oq=no+rinse+products&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQAzICCAAyBggAEBYQHjIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBggAEBYQHjIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB46BQgAELEDOgUIABCDAVD8BliRFmClF2gAcAB4AIABUIgB5QiSAQIxN5gBAKABAaoBB2d3cy13aXo&sclient=psy-ab&ved=0ahUKEwjv-PT5trHqAhVROs0KHe2dDtwQ4dUDCAw&uact=5#spf=1593791219216
I recently used the no rinse soap from a hospital visit when plumbing problems arose at home, and I felt just as clean as if I had showered. Shampooing takes a bit more effort if long hair is involved, but it's still better than navigating the bathroom dynamics.
2. More discussions on no rinse products can be found in some of these threads: Here are links to several threads on the topic of bathing an elder (some may be duplicates, as the search topic is close in parameters):
https://www.agingcare.com/search?term=no+rinse+bath+products
https://www.agingcare.com/search?term=showers%2c+no+rinse+products
3. A poster named Maggie Marshall, who no longer posts here, had some good ideas. Turn bathing into something more of a salon visit than an ordeal. Play your wife's favorite music or do something relaxing before hand. Let her use a no rinse product and wash as much of her body as she can, so she doesn't feel helpless, and/or losing her ability to care for herself.
If you have a dryer, warm up a few towels and keep them handy so she doesn't become chilled, especially in winter.
If you enjoy cool drinks such as lemonade, take a break for some refreshment. Play favorite CDs during the process.
4. Turn bathing from a challenging task into a renewal of your marital closeness, a re-acquaintance and time for the two of you to just relax. It can be done, and it a lot easier than the often unpleasant bathroom tangos. But mood priming is important.
Good luck.
AND thanks to original poster for posing a question I am also figuring out!
I have gained so much knowledge and support here. I wish everyone well. What times we live in. What journeys we are on!
Making the bathing experience comfortable and with no fear of slipping is very important. A senior can have a near miss in the tub and then refuse to bathe again.
Also, plenty of grab bars!! Those things are golden if you're stuck in the tub! I'm only 63, but I want DH to install grab bars this summer. Better safe than sorry!.
And since mother only showers twice a week, she has very gentle body washes, rather than a harsh deodorant soap.
The few times I helped mother bathe, we kept the shower head pointed away from me, and I draped a towel over my shoulders. I didn't come away totally unscathed, but I wasn't dripping wet.
Oh, and have a pile of thick, soft towels on hand to dry her. Many srs cannot take quick temperature changes.
There are shower chairs where the seat slides out of the tub. The person sits and then you can slide the seat into the tub.