I feel like I'm losing my mind. What can I do?

What does her doctor say about what she needs?

You are an angel! I adored my grandmother and I spent lots of time with her but I can’t imagine doing all you have done!

You are too young to carry this burden. I am amazed at the grandchildren that show up on this forum. It blows my mind.

It is completely evident that you love your grandmother but you are going way beyond what should be done by a grandchild.

Contact others to help, her children and perhaps a social worker to help you plan her care.

Don’t ask your family for help. Tell them that you are no longer going to be the primary caregiver for your grandmother. It simply isn’t your responsibility. Place the ball in their court.

Best wishes to you.

Hi. Just wanted to say you are not being selfish. It takes a lot of strength and courage to care for someone you love, especially when you have no help. I'm sorry to say I don't really have any answers. However, I know your mental health is just as important as your grandmothers. I would suggest getting help yourself. It's not right you've been left in this position with so many around you that could help. That's a lot on your shoulders. The right therapist could guide you or recommend someone who could help her too. If money is an issue, I have gotten mental health help thru affordable counseling programs before and it was a lifesaver! I wish you all the best in this difficult situation. Stay strong! You are doing an amazing thing for your grandma!

You are not being selfish, and you are not responsible for your grandmothers care. You are only 23 years old, and while it's very sweet how much you obviously love your grandmother, it's time for her grown children to step up and decide what needs to be done with her care. Caregiving is tough at any age, but it's really not something someone at your age should even have to think about. Shame on the adults (her children) for putting you in that situation and allowing you to stay in it. Sounds like you may have to be the "adult" in this situation and have a heart to heart with all those involved, so you can get on with living and enjoying your life. Your grandma certainly doesn't want you stressed over her, nor caring for her at your young age, that much I know, as I am a grandmother myself, and would never want any of my grandchildren to have to take on that burden. Keep your chin up, and know that things will get better. God bless you.

Inform your Grandmother's children, wherever they may be, of the date you will be leaving to have your own life. That may be 1 month in the future, or that may be 6 months in the future. Tell them you will look in on your Grandma while you live in that area, but will be unable to do her home care. Tell them that they should have care plans in place for her in that time, or be prepared to do share-care for her. Then go out and make your own life which is what people in their 20s are meant to do. If no family member steps up then do be certain that adult protective services know there is an at risk senior, and give them the family phone tree numbers for contact so they can arrange care as they all feel best, or state can take guardianship.

You are NOT being selfish at all for feeling the way you do! 12 years is a very, very long time to be feeling responsible for someone else, that's for sure. If you are 23 now, then you were 11 years old when you were expected to start caring for an aged grandmother? That's very wrong, on so many levels............what about YOUR childhood? Who took IT into account when expecting you to be the adult at 11? I know you said you've 'only' been caring for her for 5 years & living with her for 12, but that feeling of being responsible for her is more like 12 than 5, I'll bet.

Where is your mother or the son/daughter of your grandmother? Why isn't that person responsible for his or her mother's care and/or her placement in a senior living residence?

My grandmother lived in my home for 25 years while I was growing up; from before I was born until I moved out/got kicked out at 18. I was never responsible for her in any way; my mother was, since that was HER mother who she had invited there to begin with.

I think you need to take your OWN mental and physical health into consideration now, especially if grandma is developing dementia/Alzheimer's. Let me tell you, that affliction is THE worst thing on earth to deal with at home, and you'll need nerves of steel and then some to even consider doing it.

Let your family know that you are officially resigning from the role of being care taker to grandma & it's time for one of THEM to step up. You love her and you love them, but enough is enough. It's time for you to move OUT and get your own place, free and clear of everything and everybody. That is how life is supposed to work. If you're thinking or being told otherwise, you're being sold a pig in a poke.

Wishing you the best of luck standing up for YOUR rights now! You deserve to!