Has anyone ever taken their loved one out of memory care and moved them back home?

I think you are feeling some 'guilt' at the fact that DH is doing well and 'maybe' you were too hasty in placing him and now you are rested and calmer (a guess on my part) you are re-thinking a decision---

My advice? Leave well enough alone. IF he is happy and thriving, then isn't that what you want? Do you really want an incontinent, memory impaired husband living at home again and all the stuff that ineviatbly goes along with that.

He won't get better. You know that. Think back to how it was before you moved him to MC. Was it wonderful and easy on you?

What you are 'missing' is the Dh you married and the youth and vitality that come with being young and leave us waaaay too soon.

For me, just the incontinence would be a deal breaker.

Don't make any hasty decisions. Think back how it was to have him at home and what toll that took on you. If he qualifies for MC, then he must be fairly high need.

Good Luck--this would be a difficult decision for anyone.

I'm probably not the best person to answer this question, because my husband has only been in MC for 10 days. But even after only 10 days, I'm starting to forget all the sleep deprivation and the constant vigilance to keep him safe. At least once a day I ask myself if I was too hasty. Then I go spend an hour with him and realize that he requires a team now, not just one personal caretaker. Be kind to your yourself and when you miss him, just go sit with him at the MC facility. Our facility lets me bring in some wine each day, so we have our cocktail hour at 4:00!

He is doing well and moves can confuse him. I know you want him home and it's hard to be apart, but the fact that he's doing so well means that he is the right place for him now. His condition may change in a moment so please, please don't move him. Hugs to you. I know, it's hard.

Bringing him home will not lesson the heartache of the loss of your previous life. You have to use the time you have to refocus your energy on your well being. His needs are met on a daily basis, 24/7. His well being has been created by your decision to place him in a safe environment.

Well, my mom moved in just prior to all the shut downs last year. And then they had a positive case and extra isolation, and I could video chat and see her hallucinating and just the guilt overwhelmed me. How could I leave her there? And I brought her home. And soon realized that was a mistake. All the reasons that she went were there, and I soon began to feel the strain... constantly being alert even at rest, the delusions ( where are my children, and going out the door) urine in the waste baskets in her room ....And about 7 weeks later pleaded with them to let her come back. After the first positive case (staff, not residents) they did great. And I was able to see her outside on the patio, and now finally back in her room. She's always glad to see me, even if she doesn't remember later I was there, and other people are getting pinched and yelled at when she needs to change clothes or shower, or take meds.

Regular schedules are important with dementia, and changes like moving can really cause a step down in functioning, so be aware of that.

I needed to be daughter, not caregiver. It affected me, my husband, my ability to go anywhere, or help with my grandkids.

My advice is to visit often as you can, maybe even get a video chat device so you can chat even on days you can't make it(we use a Facebook portal)

I love my mom, but she is in the best situation for her. In her right mind, she wouldn't have wanted me to go through what I did. Everything thing about this disease is hard. If his needs are being met, keep him where he is. Nothing is perfect, but I'm sure he would not want you to risk your physical or mental health.

I understand that you miss your husband. However, try and remember why you had to place him to begin with.

He is thriving now because he has a team of caregivers, not one exhausted caregiver. He is in an environment where he receives constant medical supervision and care from trained professionals.

Take him out of the facility on a pass for a lunch date or dinner date several times a week, or plan an activity that you two can enjoy like a walk in the park. However, be prepared that he may become agitated and confused at being out of his environment and routine, and want to go back.

I can imagine that it would be horribly lonely, and that you miss him. Realize that you are doing the right thing by having him there, where he is obviously thriving. Visit him as often as possible, and have dinners and take walks with him there if going out isn't possible, so that you can both still enjoy each other's company.

Yes, I did with my dad. Unfortunately, my dad has declined and it's real hard. I do have a sitter that comes 6 1/2 days. It's not enough because he's so demanding. If he's happy at the place that you have him keep him at the memory care. It's hard enough to find a place they are comfortable at. You need to put his needs before yours.

You need to do what is best for him, not you.

It is unlikely he'll remain stable if you bring him home. If he's content and well where he is, leave him there and be thankful. And visit often.

Your husband is content and happy and being well cared for where he is. His needs are likely to increase as time goes on, and it might not be long before exhaustion causes you to regret having tried to take care of him at home. You may need to pay more attention to who you are as an individual in addition to being your husband's wife.
Leave your husband in the safe place he is now and find ways to bring a little more balance to your own life.