I'm 51. So much has led up to this. Why do people abandon me? I'm alone 24/7, so why is it worth living?

I am so sorry you feel this way. Please tell us more. Even though we are Internet strangers, we are here and we will "listen."

I'm so sorry for your mental (and physical) suffering right now. One thing I learned in life is that relationships must be cultivated. If your family is absent or unsupportive, you will need to go out and seek friendships with quality people. I totally agree with volunteering, and just doing good deeds for others (Random Acts of Kindness). Also, attending a church or faith-based group and finding people with whom you share commonalities. First and foremost, please address your depression as this will help you get the emotional energy to move yourself through this hard stuff.

I have do doubt you are a caring, loving person. The reality of life is that most people have their own family members and challenges to tend to and hardly have the band-width to add another person into the mix, and has nothing to do with you being somehow undeserving of attention. May you have a full and speedy recovery! May you receive much kindness from others and peace in your heart in this new year!

I have often suffered from depression, as I am alone. No husband for years. No children. As the youngest of my family, parents, siblings and in-laws are all gone. Spent many Christmases alone, except as a nurse, I volunteered to work Christmas. No big sacrifice for me. It kept me from being alone, kept me busy.

People are not deliberately "cruel" most of the time. They are self-centered, preoccupied with problems of their own. The holidays present complex problems for some people ...family/relationship problems, financial problems. It's not that they are "uncaring", they just don't think about other peoples problems when they feel overburdened by their own.

Since you are having surgery and are under medical care, you might speak to your doctor about your depression. Anti-depressants can sometimes work wonders, but it usually takes time for them to work.

The suggestion of volunteering is excellent, if you are physically able. Ask if an elder daycare center needs help. It may not be physically demanding and older people are often just starving for conversation! Whatever effort it takes, a lot or a little, you will find you are helping yourself to feel better as well.

I can relate to how you are feeling.

No doubt, you still feel yucky after surgery--and throw in the mix that it's the HOLIDAYS and somehow due to lilfe just being crazy, people put too much emphasis on the greedy, indulgence of those Holidays--leaving people who try to make them GREAT for everyone else feeling blue and lonely.

Is a little of that going on for you? Did you have expectations that weren't met? People didn't step up to help that you felt should have?

When I went through cancer & all the misery that brings---I think I had maybe 3 or 4 good friends reaching out to me, and yes, sometimes I had to call THEM to help me out. I'm not good at that, not at all. I felt totally alone a LOT.

I also had a very major foot/ankle surgery this past summer. It took 16 weeks to heal so that I could even put weight on it. My DH tried, but failed, really, at 'caring for me'. I just gave up and hired all the work out. I got very depressed about this.

People are inherently selfish--not out of meanness, but just as a survival tactic! It's not a bad trait, it really kind of protects us from burning out completely.

I hope when you begin to heal, you can look outside yourself and 'work' on finding supportive people. I can't gather from your post whether you are married, single, have kids--so it's kind of hard to know what to say.

I hope you feel better soon. Really. Being sick & in pain just take the wind out of our sails.

((Hugs))

I know how you feel and have often looked forward to death. I'm 65 and have been totally alone for 11 years. I don't have ANY relatives and am a loner. Since my mother died, she's the first thing I think of when I wake up. It takes me about 15 seconds to realize I'm alone. The solution to my problem has been my three dogs. I live for them. What would happen to them if something happened to me? I have several solitary projects that I enjoy, I'm a hoarder and have to clean out a 2,000 sq ft house so I can die. I'm also hoping I can get everything done before dementia sets in. I pray that I didn't inherit that gene from my mother. I won't have anyone to care for me. In conclusion, you're not alone. Human companionship is nice, but there are alternatives. Good luck.

If you love yourself, You will get used to living alone.

Prayers.

I had a sister that could have written what you wrote. She took care of a parapalegic husband for 25 yrs. and she did everything. Never had help. Even before he passed she was very depressed as you can imagine and paranoid. Anyone who offered a suggestion to make her life easier got their head bit off.
She suffered a heart attack at age 56 while she was waiting to get her leg amputated.. I was the only sibling out of 5 others that would help and take her to appts. I lived an hour away. I dreaded every time because of her attitude. She could not be cheerful or friendly or appreciative. She treated nurses like s__t. In Aug 2018 she was diagnosed with stomach cancer and died March 2019. One other sister and I and hired help got her thru to her final day. I was with her when her tumor burst and she died the next day. She was still talking ugly to me and down to me and my other sister when she arrived. I feel sorry that you don't have anyone, but have you driven them away? Reach out to them and tell them how you feel and ask them what went wrong. And if you can change, then do it.

Please tell us more information..what is the nature of the surgery? Is your family here in USA 🇺🇸? Can you speak to a therapist? Do you have a place to live? Are you currently working? I’m so sorry you feel hopeless. Can you talk to a religious mentor? Hoping for you that you get back on your feet! Hugs 🤗

Just want to say I am so sorry you are going thru this. I too used to be the one who was willing to do things for people without expecting anything in return. But at 72 I have gotten a little sceptical. I wonder if I ever need anything, will people be as forthcoming as I used to be. So, I try not to expect things from people.

I hope you have talked to a SW and have told her there is no one you can depend on to help you.

Can you tell us a bit more about what your condition is?
Do you have family, but they have abandoned you?
Do you have friends in your area?
Do you attend/are you ABLE to attend any functions such as Church or Social Groups?
What emergency surgery did you have? Has it put you off your feet? Do you suffer from a chronic disability?
We need more information from you. Am so sorry you are suffering at this time, and hope things will improve. The holidays often put even more a burden on us with expectations that we normally carry.
It sounds you are isolated from others. At the young age of 51 there must be reasons for that we cannot be aware of. Please tell us more.

Mom2Hacha - We care.

Can you tell us what happened? You said "so much has led up to this..."

What surgery did you get? Are you able to do things for yourself?

I am sorry you feel alone right now. Sometimes others just don't know we need help. Or sometimes we have to cast the net a little wider or look in a new direction to find what we need.

Does your health team include any sort of support, services or councelling?

Well wishes to you.