How to respond to absent family members who provide no help when they accuse you of spending too much money for Mom's care?

In Louisiana children are first in line for any inheritance unless the spouse leaves a Will a gives everything to his wife. The surviving spouse has right to usage of home until death. But is not full owner because it’s considered community property. My mom can will her 50% of her assets which she did to me.

My dad listed my brother and sister as his beneficiary while he was sick and mentally confused, they convinced him they would distribute the money evenly but kept it for themselves. My mom didn’t want to pursue legal action.

Please talk to the Hospice service asap & see what other help is available for you. I am so sorry your siblings don't help. They have their own boundaries, abilities & values. Best to leave that for now.

Instead find people & services that CAN help you. It can be a longer road than you think, as you have found.

Prioritise your Mom's care & your own. Do what you can to make life easier. Can groceries, meals & meds be delivered for now?

Send a group txt out only if the situation changes.

I doubt I would be replying at all to txts about money at all at this time..

Athough if I was on the other side, I suppose I could be asking if spare money existed so it could be used for extra help? Like in-home aides?

This must be overwhelming. Please speak to Hospice, Mom's Doctor, your Doctor about extra help. End stage illness requires a team. (I do not know what illness/issue your Mother has).

You mentioned you were/are an RN. I found this noble group often step-up into caregiving but the downside can be lacking respect for self-care, not taking breaks. A tendency towards being Superman/Superwoman. Or feeling like if you don't do everything, you have failed. Just ensure you are not falling in those holes.

Adding more help is not failing. It is just ADDING more help.

When she was discharged from last hospital stay her physicians gave her approximately a month to live. I felt like I could care for her for 1 month but it’s almost 5 months now. My siblings took my dads money from his insurance policy. Left my mom with her monthly SSI check only. They don’t want to pay for any final expenses and feel like I should be able to save from her monthly income to cover the cost. My mom has willed everything she owns to me but unfortunately living in Louisiana they will get dads 50% interest. She’s not eligible for Medicaid so any facility will expect what Medicare doesn’t cover to be out of pocket. I’ve asked for either physical help from my siblings or either monetary to pay for help. They refuse either.

From your profile: "I moved in with her 4 months ago and have been providing all of her care alone. I have 3 siblings that refuse to help at all. I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. I get very little sleep and feel totally stressed out."

WHY did you agree to do this? Please don't write that it's what Mama deserves, because she was such a wonderful mother. If she was that wonderful, then she wouldn't have raised your 3 sibs to be the selfish people that they are.

What happens if YOU get sick and can't take care of her?

If you insist on continuing with this martyrdom, your sibs should pay for relief help for you. Why do they care how much of her SS check is being spent? Do they expect to inherit something? What are you rmother's finances? i really hope the four of you aren't equal beneficiaries to any estate or trust - YOU deserve it all.

Can your mother go to a hospice facility?