Mom refuses to walk after stroke. What can I do?

How frustrating! If were up to my mom, she would sit in her chair and get waited on all day. UGH.

Do you know WHY your mom refuses to get up and walk? Is she just doing what I described my mom would love to do? Is it pain? Is it fear of falling? Would she do PT with the therapists? My mom will work with the professionals but will NEVER do anything on her own (even before dementia came creeping in).

It's very frustrating when we care way more about their health and mobility than they do. My mom is 79 and will be discharged from PT this week as they've resolved the initial issue but I know she'll do less and less and end up in pain again. Maybe next time I'll just say more pain meds is the solution. And I've told her she will end up in a wheelchair and then a nursing home. Didn't phase her as much as I expected.

Quite honestly, not knowing your Mom and what she's capable of, this is a question for you to work out with her doctor. She is unlikely to get a lot of rehab without first having a three day hospitalization and move to rehab from there, and if she isn't well, able or willing enough to participate she will be released from rehab. Speak with Mom's doctor, and I wish you lots of luck.

My mother reached the point where there was no other choice but to have her go into a wheelchair full time. She had dementia, she was falling a lot, she had neuropathy in her legs/feet, she'd had a stroke, the PT wasn't working and she was being non-compliant, enough was enough. The doctor in the hospital she was at (for pneumonia) told me this: there comes a time when an elder has no other choice BUT to go into a wheelchair; now is that time for your mother. I didn't fight it, I was tired too. Mom went into a wheelchair then and stayed in it until she died about 3 years later.

Your mother has dementia and COPD and is probably non compliant with PT b/c she's tired. What's going to change at 'another facility' that's going to make her PT compliant? Once dementia kicks in, they're generally non compliant with everything ANYWAY. If you can't beat em, join em. That's my philosophy. Your mother has earned the right to say NO in her old age. Allow her to. That's what 'to do with her'.........buy her a nice wheelchair or get one free from Medicare, and that's that.

If you can no longer accommodate her living in your home with a wheelchair, look into Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing. My mother did great in Assisted Living and then Memory Care when her dementia progressed to the point where AL was no longer feasible.

Good luck!

Another facility won’t help if she is bound and determined not to walk. Some people choose to be bedridden. It’s frustrating, and it’s hard to watch someone make a bad choice for themselves.

I have seen two people who chose to be bedridden.

One person was just done and felt like they would die soon anyway so no point.

The person realized bedridden would mean more attention and people doing for her. She’d sit in the bed with a happy smirk as family brought her magazines and treats and fluffed her pillows.

You might try "therapeutic therapy." Get one of the portable hand/leg exercise bikes; they look like bike pedals but are mounted on a smaller base and can be moved. My father used one for his feet and legs, pedaling while listening to favorite music.

Do that as well: play her favorite music, promise a reward that's reasonable and helpful. If that doesn't work, it may be as CWillie suggests.

A doc once told me "sometimes they just get tired", and as much as I wanted to give him a black eye at the time there is some truth to his statement.
Most of the people in you see in wheelchairs at the nursing home aren't there because of broken bones, they have just run out of the strength/energy to remain upright. Given her complicated health challenges instead of pushing her to regain function I think it may be time to consider using a wheelchair, focusing instead on retaining her ability to stand and transfer and perhaps walk a few steps.