Where can you find a balanced pureed diet for someone with dementia?

Wasting of muscle and mass happens no matter what. You would be amazed how little it takes to keep seniors alive. You can ask doc for nutrition consult but the truth is that intake becomes less and less and less until honestly an elder cannot swallow well and does not wish to eat. Ask for advice on some nutrition booster drinks served with some thick-it thickening.

But over all this amounts to the body giving up and giving in to time that takes it's toll on everyone. And the truth is that underweight is better than overweight in terms of general health, diabetes and complications and etc.

Speak to your doctor if you require further guidance or more info.

I gave my Husband everything that I made for myself. I just pureed it.
I also "boosted" some of his breakfast a bit. Making Cream of Wheat I would add an egg the last few minutes of cooking,
Lots of soups and stews
He loved Key Lime Pie so I would make the filling and bake it in a ramekin without a crust and he would have that.

Your mom should be getting anything on the menu just pureed.

My mom's diet at the nursing home was essentially the same as everyone else, just pureed.... I've often told the story about the pureed and then thickened chicken caesar salad, yes it really did taste like it should but was really not worth the effort the kitchen staff must have put in 🤣
Bottom line is if they have the ability to puree one type of food they have the ability to puree anything and if they don't that's a problem. And my mom's NH was also on top of any weight loss, residents meals were supplemented with calorie dense puddings and drinks (and they definitely should know all about these products).

Suggestions….
First meet with the dietician at the facility and see what her trays should contain.
Ask to see the records where they are suppose to record how much of the tray has been eaten. (This is not always a true picture). I know for my father we sometimes put his tray on the cart and no one asked how much he had eaten. However, just asking may let them know you are aware of procedures and encourage them to pay more attention.
You should not have to supplement her diet, they are already being paid for that. However a nice treat brought in would be nice.
Maybe a second opinion with an outside dietician may be in order.
A swallow test may be in order to see if what she is given to eat is still appropriate.

Difficulty in swallowing can be a sign end of life is near, but like in our case it is not always because my husband’s issues began about 10 years ago. For those who are otherwise reasonably healthy there are a lot of options.

When my father was in a nursing home and began choking, his doctor refused to order a swallowing test because he had said he did not want a PEG Tube. There are lots of swallowing therapy techniques that can help those with swallowing issues. A swallowing test identifies the muscles that are affected and having a test does not mean someone has to have a tube placed. You can say no then pursue possible therapy.

This was before my husband began having swallowing issues… I wish I knew then what I’ve learned from caring for my husband. I have learned a lot about swallowing in the ten years of caring for my husband… the last seven years have been using a PEGTube for his meds and to supplement what he ate by mouth… and he is still very mobile.

RFM - I was able to be at the NH daily and I made it my habit to be there at meal times so I could sit with her in the dining room and see what my mom was eating and know that she was actually being fed at least once per day. If possible try to visit over her meal times and observe what she and others are eating, mix it up so that you observe breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Ask about the Hormel Vital Cuisine 500 Oral Supplement Shake, or other Hormel products
https://www.hormelhealthlabs.com/brand/hormel-vital-cuisine/

(And at this stage of life don't worry too much about a balanced diet, desserts are calorie dense and usually appreciated 😉)

I pureed all my husbands meats, and vegetables, and of course there is oatmeal, yogurt, ice cream, and lots of creamed soups that one can eat as well.
Like already said, whatever the memory care is serving for breakfast, lunch or supper, it can all be pureed, so shouldn't be an issue.
And you mentioned that one time your mom was eating "pureed vegetables and chicken." What is not balanced about that? She's getting her protein and her vegetables.

My late husband after almost dying from aspiration pneumonia had to have all his foods pureed, and his drinks thickened with the product Thick It, and he seemed to eat less and less as time went by, so I don't think what you're describing is all that unusual. Just make sure that the memory care facility is only serving your mom thickened drinks as well, as she can also aspirate on those too if not thickened.
Best wishes to you and your mom.

Her memory care should have a nutritionist on staff. Ask for a consultation.

She may need Ensure or Boost milkshakes to up her calorie count, but ask them to give her the diabetic formula because they're loaded with sugar. My mother developed severe gout from drinking those sugary milkshakes, but they were also her only source of nutrition and she was drinking three a day.

It's also possible that she's simply taking in fewer calories because she needs fewer calories and her body is just losing weight naturally as a result.

Is there enough staff to encourage her to eat? In memory care, there was not enough one on one to spend time with my mother timed between her frequent naps combined with her refusal to eat or drink. I had to consistently check with staff documentation to be sure my mom had a daily bowel movement because of her lack of solid food and random intake of Ensure products followed by Miralax. The cycle would cause rock hard constipation followed by explosive diarrhea.

My husband is in hospital now and due to choking and swallowing issues on puréed diet.I bring him yoghurts, pure ice cream, smoothies, chocolate shakes, home made puréed soups. The problem is he eats very little, no appetite.Consider that perhaps Mom does not need as much food, maybe talk to swallowing specialist like I did and she made few suggestions.

My dad is on a puree diet , we add lots if veggies and pure cream in when we can and some sugar to add empty calories. He is diabetic so got ve careful but its a end life situation so whatever helps keep weight up. Also add ensure when he can drink it. Also smoothies. With protein powders. Another trick is not to allow jim to fill up on liquids when he eats so he has more room for food sometimes.