Could be forced to put my dad in memory care “without” his beautiful cat.

The Memory Care Assisted Living facility I worked at allowed the Activity Director to bring in her dog one day for the residents to see. The dog tripped up a frail woman who fell and broke her hip, went to the hospital and then rehab, but never regained her ability to walk or function again. She died a few months later. When I left, her family was in the process of suing the facility in a wrongful death suit bc it was THEIR job to keep her safe and they did not.

Pets are not allowed in Memory Care Assisted Living facilities bc these elders are already in dire straits.

Because most memory care involves patients who are truly well into dementia, and often demands shared rooms, pets are almost never allowed. This is heartbreaking. My Aunt's facility did have a resident cat that visited all rooms. This was in Missouri and is the only place I ever saw with both a cat and a dog coming in daily, the cat staying overnights. I am so sorry. This is so heartbreaking. The single smile from my mom in her last days was the visit from a bunny, and I never will forget her making herself move her little finger to stroke its softness. You make me want to cry with the memory.

Does dad remember he has a cat now that the cat is out of sight? I would guess he won’t for long. I love the idea somebody mentioned of the cat living in the MC common unit. Talk to them about that. Otherwise please know that what we think will be the most upsetting aspect of MC hardly ever is. Out of sight out of mind is never more true than for someone with dementia.

Even if your Dad remand in the AL, if he can't care for his cat, he cannot have it. Aides responsibilities do not include feeding animals, cleaning out litter boxes or cleaning up animal messes. Thats not part of their training.

I guess u will have to find another AL/MC that will take the cat.

Oh, DO look. Many ALF now have halfway houses of a sort. Those who wander, but can otherwise be maintained with less staff in a locked cottage sort of facility that is between ALF and MC. In Palm Spring my brother's Pacifica facilites had such a unit. Also, some memory cares have resident cats or dogs, and my Aunts was one.

Do check to see what is available. I am so sorry. This would be a terrible and heartbreaking loss. I wish you the best of luck.

Years ago as a volunteer I visited a memory care unit at the Jewish Home in San Francisco. The unit had a beautiful, gentle, low-key and nicely groomed cat that spent its time in the common areas of the unit. Residents could pet and enjoy “their” cat, without all the possible issues Geaton mentions below. I was impressed!

I certainly hope something similar could be found for your dad. If not, would one of those lifelike pet stuffed animals that purr, etc. possibly be of comfort to him?

If pet-accepting MC facilities exist, great! But I can't imagine they do. IF they do, I hope he can go there. My MIL was in an AL that allowed pets as long as the residents had them (and their body functions) under control. Do you really want to be chained to the litter maintenance task every single day?

I think MC facility management and staff don't wish to spend time worrying about, caring for and chasing people's pets. They can't rely on family who "promise" to take care of them for the residents. Also, liability issues galor.

I wouldn't put my LO in a MC facility that allowed residents to have pets. First off: some people have pretty severe cat allergies. Cat dander is so fine that it literally never comes out of the carpet now matter how much you clean it (been there, done that with a son with asthma-triggered cat allergy).

Second, not all pets love other people. My Aunt's *own cat* had scratched or bit her behind her leg. She never told anyone because she was worried we'd get rid of the cat (she was in her own home, so not true). Because she couldn't feel it, see it or reach it to tend to it (she was 103 at the time), it caused a septic infection and landed her in the hospital (even though she had a family caregiver for 8 hours every day). It also cause a neurological problem for her vision for several weeks after.

Imagine if all the MC residents had pets: noises, smells, escapes, tripping over them... how would the pets be kept in the residents' rooms when they have impaired memory?

Maybe those places do exist but please be aware that your Dad's own cat has the potential to cause him problems, as was experienced in our family.

Dad loves the cat. He’s going to miss it. If you can, finda a place.

You should do whatever you feel is best for your father and for you.

What advantage would you have if you were to stay with his current facility? Are you losing out on anything important if you leave?

If you feel like your dad’s cat means the world to him and there is no disadvantage to living elsewhere then go with that.

Best wishes to you and your dad.