Should I even care?

Anitaf, did your Brother visit?

Did it turn out ok?
Or was it as JoAnn said, he wanted something.

This is a tuff one. Not making any opinions, my first thought is for your mom , it may really do your mom's hearts good to see her boys. Even though they are not helping. I think putting your feelings aside and doing what will be best for your mom, and I think seeing her boys will bring her comfort

He wants something. Only time they come out of thewoodwork.

Your mom has a right to see her son. Unless you have a valid reason why he shouldn’t see her, just stay out of it.

I understand that you are upset about your siblings not seeing your mom but everyone lives their own lives the way they feel is best for them.

You don’t have any control over your siblings behavior. We don’t know anything about your brothers’ lives so we really can’t comment on this situation.

Focus your attention on your own life. Let your brothers deal with their lives. If they want to discuss anything with you concerning your mom they will do so.

I wouldn’t have any expectations from them since they have stated that they aren’t interested in helping you care for your mother.

Men sometimes don't like to acknowledge their feelings or the feelings of others. let it play out and see what happens. No use in agonizing over it.

Good luck

It’s your mother’s choice who comes to visit her unless it’s your home and you don’t want a particular person in your home. Otherwise none of us really get to decide anyone’s relationship or lack thereof with another. Make sure your mother doesn’t end up exploited financially if that’s a concern, but let the visit play out

While care can be provided by one offspring without other siblings input (happens all the time) a few things can make it much much harder.

- Is Mom living independantly? Or living with you? If so, in your home, or you in hers?
- Is there any cognitive impairement?
- Does anyone have POA?

A caregivers can get taken advance of (either their time, labour, money) if others control things. Eg Control Mom's finances & refuse to pay for additional home help. Or control emotionally & insist on family-only care.

Your brothers and their choices are not your concern.
You can only manage your own choices for your own life.

They clearly have their own feelings about their mother, and it seems there must be some waters under the bridges over time, or they would feel differently.

There is nothing you can do about any of that.
You are there for your Mom and that should make you proud and happy.
Leave them to Heaven. (For all of those who remember the Jeanne Crain, Cornell Wilde film, Leave her to Heaven, in which Gene Tierney played such a "badie")

Does your Mom have a diagnosis of cognitive or/and memory impairment?

Is anyone her active PoA?

If she has all her cognitive capacity and no one is her PoA, they you don't need to insert yourself into this situation.

If she DOES have cognitive problems and someone is her PoA, then the PoA should be involved in this situation.

If you are getting this info from your Mom, and she has cognitive decline, she may not be telling an accurate story.

I don’t know that there is anything to do.