cks1646 Asked September 2015
How to address personal hygiene tactfully?
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We have a new problem, but it could have been going on for a while. Dad has his own bathroom so I am not sure when it started but he is not using toilet paper to wipe. How do I know? I finally caught on and marked the roll and left one spare roll. His undies are always bad both ways so that wasn't new. But how do you tactfully approach someone with dementia that they have to wipe their butt? I have a cleaning lady that comes in so I was not noticing the roll being the same until recently... He is also starting to (again) take a shower and put the same underwear back on which in itself is nasty but add in the incontinence issue and it's just bad.
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"bidetsprayerman posted on your message board 2/23/2016 at 11:45 pm
Only desperate to pierce the veil of ignorance and dirty butts."
I suppose it's admirable that he's desirous of ensuring everyone has a clean derriere.
On My Mind...
There are people who's minds are so closed that when someone suggests something new to them they actually take affront, pathetic.
It is,in my opinion, more dangerous to suggest inappropriate things carte blanche as being suitable for all than to criticise others for criticising you
You also post a link to a business - if people want a hand bidet sprayer they can search for one BUT
Can I just say you have no idea of the difficulties associated with dementia that exist for many people. Apart from the notion of using it to loosen stools there is an issue of how you plan to use it if someone cant move forward on the seat so you can get to them, or can't raise themselves of the seat without full on assistance, or have serious opposition to showers let alone anything aimed at there backside. People with dementia are very diverse in their likes and dislike, abilities and disabilities and this isn't just diverse FOR every person it can be and often is diverse WITHIN each person too. When you have a loved one who can't remember how to put the switch down to turn on a light what hope in hell have you got of them using a hand sprayer correctly. It might be fine for a fit lucid individual to use, I actually have used them a lot ON ME bother someone with dementia? Really?
Imagine the joy of cleaning a bathroom and this scenario if left to their own devices and in my house this would without a shadow of a doubt happen
.
Mum goes to the toilet
'Mum use the sprayer for your bottom'I call from outside
You hear the spray and then still hear it and then still hear it and then you hear a fall
So you go in
Mum has tried to use the spray but forgotten how
She has tried to stand and used the spray on her bottomed the water and the soil from faecal matter has run down her legs is all over her clothes and is on the floor. Mum has tried to move and has slipped on the wet floor and hit her head. You enter and also slip on the wet floor.
Tell me HOW exactly is that better?
It might well be that it does.
I have found over the last couple of months that taking a shower is extremely painful.
Plain water stings my eyes as though I've got soap in them. This before I've even picked up soap or shampoo. Then there is the water on my skin which feels on a good day like a million pin pricks, on a bad day like paper cuts.
I'm 58 years old, don't have dementia. I keep my water temperature comfortable and the spray I've tried every combination with no change of result.
My Dr has no idea what is happening or why. But one possibility is that my different meds are causing this as they fight each other. Or just that my skin is getting thinner. Due to medical conditions my body is similar to that of someone 70/80's. Just thought this might help :~)
My husband became angry when I noticed something he didn't. He was unaware of his errors, mistakes, challenges, whatever you want to call them. But he could not acknowledge that he had done anything incorrrectly. Consequently eveything wrong wih him had to be my fault. It was a most difficult early stage of Alzheimer's disease.It was a time when the balance in our relationship shifted. I finally became the nagging wife he was accusing me of being.
If I had it to do over, I would not argue with him or tell him to change, merely hold his hand, lead him to the bathroom, hand him clean clothing and help him remove the soiled. No words, done as if nothing had transpired.
I speak to my clients and tell them that it is very important to be clean. I then explain what I must do. I apologize evrytime because a person with dementia cannot remember from one moment to another what is going on. I am gentle but thorough.
If you have had children it is easier to accept this chore as you probably can remember doing this for your babies.
This is actually the only way to handle this problem. It is one of the biggest expenses; purchasing wet wipes and having gloves at all times.
It is also important to have the individual wash their hands just like a doctor or nurse would. I say this and also monitor the washing.
One of my clients is also blind and has severe Alzheimer's but she is at peace when I perform this task.
Unfortunately, we are so averse to such things as a society it really leaves elders with too many urinary tract infections which can cause more confusion and hospital stays.