Hello. Thank you in advance to anyone offering suggestions. My father had a traumatic brain injury, they think from a fall. Hospital 2 weeks, rehab failed after 10 days (wouldn't cooperate or eat), back to hospital, then a stroke. Then 18 days of rehab before he and my mom came to live with me for a while. He's convinced himself he is going to Panama (he was born there) because there's nothing here for him. He is now mostly deaf, complete neglect on the left, and can't walk unassisted more than 10 feet. The past few days he's gotten angrier and angrier because I won't take him to get his passport. Today I left him in his room and he unlocked the door and tried to leave. He fell, of course, and now has a fractured skull. I'm sitting in the ER waiting to see how long he'll be in the hospital. I'm looking at what to do when he is released. He cannot be reasoned with- he insists nothing is wrong with him (he now hates the neuro because he said he couldn't drive) so he's going to keep trying to walk away. I'm worried about my mom when they return home. I don't know what to do or where to start looking. Thanks.
I would push HARD with the staff/social worker to figure out what is most appropriate for him. He's obviously having some major issues that need to be addressed. Make sure they understand the severity of the problems, how it is impacting your home life and don't let it be swept under the rug. Something has to change.
So sorry that this is happening to your family.
This is only a small point, but was not taking him to get his passport really worth the battle? What harm could it have done?
The thing is. He is not going to be leaving the country: he can't walk ten feet unassisted. But stop trying to make him "realise" that it's not a practical possibility, or that he's being irrational, or that his driving is a terrible idea. He's not going to agree! If something he wants to do can make no possible difference, yielding to it is one option. You don't have to agree that it's a *good* idea, mind. Just that it's a harmless one.
What are your worries about your mother?
I imagine that there will need to be many investigations and discussions before it can be considered safe to discharge your father from hospital. Does his neurologist consider him legally competent to make decisions for himself? Does your mother or do you have power of attorney or healthcare proxy status for him?
I'm worried about my mom's health, her trying to prevent him from walking out the door or having to deal with him when he falls again.
While we're in the hospital I'm going to ask the advice of every dr we see. Unfortunately, I do not have POA, but so far my mom can act for him regarding medical decisions.