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My mom (87) lives with me, and she only gets $700 a month SS. I'm her caregiver 24/7, and she has lived with me for 6 years. She has 3 other kids that don't even come to see her. I haven't had any time off for 6 years.


My baby sister recently filed for POA on mom and sold mom's house. She didn't give the money to me or mom, she kept all of it for herself. Mom's SS check barely covers the cost of mom's food and her personal bills... I do everything for mom. It has been financially hard due to my husband being the only one working.

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What proof do you have? Take that to.Adult Protective Services.

You don't just file for a POA. Does she actually have guardianship?

You need to see an elder law attorney to try to find out what is going on.
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You can't "file for POA". It's something that your mom had to give, willingly.

Have you asked sis for an accounting of the money from the sale?
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Elderlaw lawyers cost, yes I have prove. My sister won't even talk to me now. I'm exhausted and angry, I feel all alone. Moms pat of my family and we love her, I just want my sister to stop stealing from my mom. My mother worked hard all her life, she has always been there for all her children. My sister should be held responsible for stealing all of her assets. She knows I can't afford a lawyer. Momma doesn't deserve this. My. Sister has everything and lives like a queen. Is their any groups that will help and elderly person who's. Assets have been taken from them by greedy children.
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LightnLife avatar
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LightnLife Mar 2022
Many answers have indicated to go to APS and file against your sister....if she came into having the POA fraudulently. You have to do some digging and find out when the POA was given to her by your mom. It wasn't done in court, from what I know of mine. Going to court would be conservatorship/guardianship and that takes doctors being involved, etc. The process is extensive and costly.... upwards of $15K and likely if mom lives with you, you'd have known about that because someone would likely want to know why sis is filing for a conservatorship and mom is residing with you.
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HAve you called the police and reported the theft of your mother's asset?

HAve you called Adult Protective Services and reported financial abuse of an elder?

DI'd youask mom if she signed a Power of Attorney for your sister? If mom didn't, then you also report fraud.
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No, I didnt know what to do. Now I do! Thank you so much for answering my post.
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XenaJada avatar
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XenaJada Mar 2022
Where I live, a group of women were tried last week and sent to prison for doing what your sister did!

you need to be all over this! Your mom needs that money for her care!

sounds like sis commited FRAUD.
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Thank you for giving me advice on how I can stop my sister and protect my mom. I truly appreciate it.
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Thank you for giving me advice on how I can stop my sister and protect my mom. I truly appreciate it.
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You don't file for POA, so something is wrong with that right off the bat. POA is given to you by the person asking you to act as his/her POA. That person must be competent at the time. As POA you may act only as directed unless during your service as POA the person becomes to demented to act for is or herself. At that point the POA is a FIDUCIARY, a legal representative who MUST keep meticulous records, signing and selling and etc only as POA for the person. At any time this POA can be reported for fraud and will be investigated; will face jail if they enrich themselves with sale of anything.

I do not know when all of this occurred, but any sale of property belonging to your Mother and in her name on title/deed, is not legal. Open a case by reporting this to APS.
Your sister could have "filed" for guardianship. But not for POA. So check on the facts of all this through APS. Something is missing and askew in this story.
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If your sister files for guardianship and received it your Mom should have gotten paperwork to that effect. She is told of the hearing so she can be present. You as an interested party and any other siblings should be there too. This way you can contest the guardianship based on sister does not have Moms conerns at heart. If sister is given guardianship, any money she makes off of the sale of the house goes into a bank acct in Moms name. The state keeps an eye on guardians.

POA, sister could not get it without Mom assigning her. Mom would need to be present to sign the document in front of a lawyer and a notary. Even as a POA sister is not entitled to Moms money. That should go into a bank acct for her care only.

You need to contact APS for no other reason than to get the theft on record. If Medicaid is ever involved u will need to prove theft was involved.
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As others others have suggested please file a report with Adult Protective Services and contact and Report to your local police department.
Assuming that your mother is over 65 please also contact the local Office on Aging and see if they have a listing of Elder Care attorneys who can assist at low-cost or perhaps even at least hear the story pro bono.
Wishing you and your family good luck and peace on this journey
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Talk to federal Trade Commission this sounds Like identity theft . You don't file for POA - your mother has to be present and have witnesses present and this POA would have to be Notarized so the sale of the house was Illegal . I doubt your sister had any authority to sell her house . What she did was theft and could go to Jail this is what we call Elder abuse . There are usually Hotlines to report elder abuse . I would start with the Federal Trade commission and see if social services can help you with a low income lawyer . Your sister has committed a felony .
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You need a lawyer! Get one!! POA oversees paying bills etc. not to sell everything and pocket the money.
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Bobby7 Mar 2022
That's not true completely = POA can do a lot of damage because no one watches over them.
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I have used the National Elder Fraud hotline at 833–FRAUD–11 
(or 833–372–8311) when my sister was being scammed. The people answering can provide local & federal resources to access and also offer to open a case number for further assistance.
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Your mother would have to be part of assigning a POA. Ypur sister "filing for" (and hetting?) POA does not sound right unless you omitted that your mother signed the paperwork. Whether or not that can be undone may depend upon your mother's cognitive level.
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Id ask your sister for the legal papers. Your mom should have her own copy. If she cannot provide the papers then she did something illegal and the house may not even be sold correctly, that's why she probably didn't give any to you. If she is POA then I'd give her a list of her responsibilities. You not being her POA should not be able to make any decisions for her and can't talk to any Dr's for her nor can they share anything with you. She also would have power over her bank account and any money she gets IF SHE CANT MAKE DECISIONS FOR HERSELF.
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Are you going to contact an attorney?

"My sister should be held responsible for stealing all of her assets. She knows I can't afford a lawyer. Momma doesn't deserve this."

What difference does it make to Momma, since she is living at your house with a 24/7/365 caregiver (you)?

I hope she is paying you what she can from her SS check. Is she? What was going to happen to the proceeds from the sale of the house -- were you going to get it, or was it to be split amongst you and your siblings? (If so, why? YOU are the one who is taking care of her.)

If your mother ever applies for Medicaid (someday her care could easily become too much for you), if it's within 5 years this house sale could affect her eligibility.
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harsh for your mom, but I’d pack her a bag and drop mom on sister’s door step. Let’s see how she responds … if she takes mom’s money, ya gotta take mom too…
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I don’t know how your sister accomplished this without fraud of some kind. It’s not that easy without your moms cooperation. This would be fraud and theft. You need to consult elder law attorney fast!
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BurntCaregiver Mar 2022
She didn't. There was already a POA in place that the mother may have forgotten about.
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Trust? Living Will? Or Will?
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but what does moms will say - your sister having POA doesnt mean she gets to keep it - it needs to be distributed PER a will, no?
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Bobby7 Mar 2022
A POA can act in a settlement for sale of a house. Then, the POA can open a bank account as a POA to deposit house sale proceeds. That POA can then write checks from that account for anything they want.

It is not hard with a POA to do anything!

To stop it requires you going to court which requires a lawyer.
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Let me see if I understand you correctly. Your mother has been living with you for six years. Was her house just left empty all this time? With all respect to you, you're leaving something out. No one moves an elderly parent or anyone for that matter in without knowledge of their finances or some kind of legal documentation (POA, conservatorship, guardianship, legal agreement) in place.
Your sister did not just get POA. That is not possible. If she was going that route, your mother would have had to appear in court or a lawyer either retained by the court or by your mother would have had to appear on her behalf. Your mother lives in your house for six years. In that time has she ever heard from a lawyer appointed to her because your sister is petitioning for POA? No one just gets awarded POA by the court because they want it.
This being said, your sister already had your mom's POA. Your mother made the documents in lawyer's office naming your sister her POA. She may not want to admit to it because she lives off of you in your house, but I guarantee if you get a look at those papers, your mom's signature will be on them.
You can put a timeline as to when she started acting as POA. Who was paying the bills at your mother's house for the last six years? The utilities, the homeowner's insurance, the property taxes, the mortgage if there is one?
Where does your mother's mail get delivered? There will be photocopies of cancelled checks included in her monthly bank statements. Somebody pays these bills so there's a signature on the written checks.
You have access to your mom's SS. How are you able to access this money if your sister is the one in charge of all the finances through her POA?
Ask for some bank statements and see if sister's been paying these bills.
Also, when someone has POA, they cannot just abscond with the person's money and liquidate their assets to spend any way they wish.
Follow the money. Start with the bank your mother's SS gets deposited in. Deal with them. They will have a copy of the POA on file otherwise your mother would be the only one able to withdraw from her accounts.
Mom did a POA. You could also be named on that document as well.
If you're not pack her stuff and drop her off on your sister's doorstep.
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Bobby7 Mar 2022
You don't go to court to get a POA.
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POA is for the person spending the money FOR the person. If she takes ANYTHING for her self, she can be prosecuted for elder abuse or worse. Get a lawyer and tell them all you've told us. If nothing else, can send her a cease and desist. She can't do this unless she's the caregiver even if Mom gave her the POA.
What I don't understand, is how she got it without your mothers consent and was it done under duress if your mother did approve?
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Abby2018 Mar 2022
You are correct. My pesky younger brother keeps telling me that I'm in "charge" and can do whatever I want (like give him $$$ from the estate). Not only do I feel this is morally wrong, but the whole intent of POA is doing what benefits the person who entrusted you with their assets. As to her getting POA without mom's consent seems sketchy at best. We had to go to an attorney (an elder atty. is best) to have the documents drawn.
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Also, forget not being able to afford an attorney. Go to DEFACS where they advocate in behalf of your mother. They can help you get something you can afford. Please do this. It is theft and will affect you and your mothers well being and when your mother is gone, you may have a lot of regret.
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sorry for your struggle...I have been taking care of my grandpa for the last decade...its been the hardest...I'd recommend you talk to a family attorney about about your sister selling the house...yet you are the caregiver. Some attorneys will talk to you on the phone for a free consultation. I thought your mother had to sign agreement for power of attorney...or go to court to be give POA..Write a list of questions & if necessary call a few attorneys until you find one that will answer your questions...Maybe you can challenge the case & be awarded at least some of the money from the sale of the house. Additionally contact social security...you might be eligible for a payment each month for being the primary care giver. Lastly...even if she doesn't show it, Im sure your Mother knows she is very lucky to have such a giving loving caring soul for a daughter...you :))
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Contact the police and file for elder abuse or fraud.
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Bobby7,

You most certainly do go to court to get a POA if the person did not do these documents naming someone POA willingly on their own in a lawyer's office.
Being the 'next of kin' and making medical decisions for a person in an emergency is something entirely different.
If the OP's mother did not already have a POA legally done and she very likely did have one done, there's no way her daughter can just get one made up with the mother having no knowledge of it. It would have to go through the probate court and the sister would have to be legally appointed POA by the judge. The mother because the petition is about her would have a lawyer appointed by the court to represent her if she doesn't have one on her own.
This is how a legal POA is gotten over a person.
The mother in all likelihood did her POA already and just isn't telling her daughter whose house she lives in and who takes care of her.
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newbiewife Mar 2022
At least in our state, POA cannot be appointed by a judge. It must be granted by the individual for whose benefit the POA would act. It's entirely possible, as others have written, that the OP's sister had a POA signed by the mom quite some time ago, and supposedly did some kind of action to activate it--which I don't think is possible because it would have required medical certification that the mom was incompetent to handle her own affairs unless it was a durable power of attorney that is in effect as soon as it's signed. And you don't have POA "over" a person--it's FOR the person, to act in their best interests. I don't understand why people persist in using the word "over".
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hwtoProctmymom8: What your sister has done is fraudulent and elder abuse. Contact an elder law attorney. Also, wherein lies the notarized document that your mother (who is the principal) signed appointing your sister as her agent in Power of Attorney?
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I know this isn't exactly the best forum for putting every detail out there when posing a question, but I'll follow up on BurntCaregiver et al's replies. I'm a retired federal investigator. I've investigated many types of cases, including elder fraud. I've also experienced it first hand, in my own family. The information you've provided would certainly have gotten you and your mom a chair on the other side of my interview table, where I would have asked for more details and documents than you ever thought would be needed. I suggest you get everything together, printouts of ALL contacts with your sister regarding your mom, her care, her assets, the POA(s), the real estate agent, the buyer, plus ALL records you can find in the public domain, for example the county will have records of the real estate transaction, anything your sister filed, etc. The more complete a package you can prepare, the better. Investigators (and attorneys) are more inclined to look at something where all the significant evidence is in front of them. I've even had attorneys work a case, then with their client's permission, bring the records in for us to consider a criminal investigation. I got into the field to make the world we live in better, to make those who break the law and take advantage of others pay, and that is what drives a lot of people in law enforcement. They live to right the wrongs. I wish you luck, and pray you have success. It certainly sounds like your sibling has not acted in a manner that has your mother's best interest at heart.
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No one can just 'file for a POA". Your mom would have had a document to sign to authorize sis to be the POA. If mom hasn't signed anything, you need to contact an elder atty very quickly. Even if mom did sign something, you need elder atty. Mom can sign one today and change her mind at a later date and that's what needs to be discussed with the elder atty.

With mom's only income being $700 per month, she is going to qualify for a medicaid nursing home bed if she ever needs one. Daughter selling house, by authorization of a POA as was done, and proceeds not being used for mom's needs is going to create a penalty period on when mom's medicaid bed would start being paid for by the state. Elder atty may be able to get house money back to be used for mom's current needs.
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I was given POA for my parents. It required a lawyer and several people to witness our signatures. I had to file it in the court. When I move my parents to be near me I sold their home for them and the check was wired directly into their bank account. I had to show my power of attorney to the real estate agency and they uploaded copies of it.

I don’t know if your Mom has dementia but it would be hard not to remember getting a POA drawn up.

you got a lot of great advice, I am sorry you have to deal with this
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