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We need to eat low-carb and foods more appropriate for lowering high cholesterol and blood sugar. Our children think we should just enjoy it and not want to follow a better diet since my husband is 87. We both disagree!
Honestly there isn't much you can do, is there? Take into consideration all the food for the day instead of worrying about each meal separately - for instance opt for soups and salads for lunch to offset a high carb dinner, ask for eggs, yogurt etc for breakfast and skip the toast. At dinner ask for extra veggies in place of the fries or pasta. If you are allowed a mini fridge you can keep a few items in your rooms. But I think that your kids are right too, the ill effects of high blood pressure and high cholesterol are cumulative and take years to develop, at your ages giving up things you enjoy may not really gain you much benefit.
Sadly the same thing happens in schools, Day Care Centers (for kids and Seniors) High carb, high starch items are cheap and easy to prepare in large quantities. A lot of fried items are purchased in bulk pre prepared and partially cooked so frying is fast, easy and efficient for kitchen staff. You can make good choices when it comes to selecting items. Salad with a squeeze of lemon rather than prepared dressings. Or no dressing use cheese and fruits on top. No bread, rolls, biscuits. Baked or broiled rather than fried. See it's easy..for me sitting in my house not having to make those choices. would I rather have Beer Battered fish and fries in stead of the baked one that is probably dried out and mealy? You betcha. Would I go get seconds on ice cream rather than skip dessert? Yup there is always time for ice cream! Now...back to your choices. do others feel the same way? If so as a group can you gather people and talk to management? See if there is a way that they can offer more healthy options? Since this Independent Living I am sure you have the option of preparing your own meals. Are you given a "meal allowance"? If so cook more at home and be more selective when it comes to dining room meals. Maybe even a group of you can form a "dinner party group" and take turns preparing meals.
There are stereotypes for a reason: most older people really do eat earlier (because they also go to bed earlier), cook their veggies to mush (because they often have dental and/or swallowing problems), and judging by the waist size of the typical American they eat a lot of crappy foods (and IMO that's the kind of food the majority want to see on their menus too).
Suggest the sort of dishes that you would like. The worst that can happen is nothing!
I sympathize, though - it's a rhubarb-rhubarb-mutter-grumble theme with me, that many of the people we support never seem to see a vegetable, it's all over-salted ready meals with not a fresh item to be had in the kitchen.
But going back to your ILF: do you actually (or more to the point does your husband actually) enjoy what's provided?
I find it hard to imagine that there aren't multiple food items to choose from at your facility. Older people have myriad diet requirements (low-fat, low salt, etc.), and I'm sure your place must make those accommodations, or they'd have no residents.
My folks stayed in a IL cottage for a few months while their house was being worked on, and they hated the food because it wasn't the way they were accustomed to eating. They ended up doing all their own cooking, because they weren't the types to eat canned fruit and heavily processed things. Unfortunately, that's what you get when a place is cooking for a lot of people.
I'd ask to speak to the nutritionist or dietician at your place and see what can be done, or be prepared to cook for yourselves for breakfast and lunch at least.
I've never heard of a senior living place that did not offer SEVERAL choices of food on a dining menu. Never. Look closer at the menu for more items that fit your healthy eating criteria & avoid the '1-2 fried items', speak to the chef at your facility, or the management about your preferences, or do as your children suggest and enjoy these years of your life without placing so much worry on what you're eating. My father worried about his calorie and fat intake every day of his 91 years on earth and still died of a brain tumor. Nobody gets out alive, I'm afraid.
Not to mention, no matter WHAT the ILF serves, the patrons WILL complain! It's the law. Too many veggies/too few veggies/too many fried foods/not enough fried foods/too spicy/too bland/too crisp/too mushy/too sweet/not sweet enough, etc etc etc. I've listened to those complaints for the entirety of the 7 years my folks were living in Assisted Living, in spite of the fact that they had plenty to choose from AND the food was quite good and plentiful~
Last but not least, I'm sure you have a fridge and a kitchenette in your apartment. Meaning, stock up on what you like and eat in a few meals a week to ensure you're getting meals that are tailored specifically to your tastes. That's your best bet.
Order grocery delivery and supplement with good snacks and skip their meals every now with premade meals that you just heat up. Good things in, good things out!
This is a difficult situation that makes you feel helpless, but the facility should offer a variety of choices of food. Unfortunately, this is not a restaurant. Have you mentioned this to your doctor and dietitition? As told by other readers, keep fruit in your cooler and some good foods in your room as snacks.
Those 3 provided meals a day are part of your living expenses at that facility, so I wonder whether they could discount your fees if you stop partaking of those meals and prepare your own. It would be worth checking into; I realize a facility plans its food prep by number of occupants but maybe the 'meal plan' could be an 'a la carte' sort of thing, but not used just randomly to not wreck their budget. And ask your doctor for a 'prescription' for the food plan best for you and your husband, not to dictate to your facility but to show that you have legitimate health concerns that you are trying to follow.
If your independent living facility is like most of the communities here, COVID has REALLY restricted their supply chain. I found that they rely on one, maybe two, suppliers so that they can trace any potential recalls or product problems. My mom experienced a change from being able to choose from the offerings to a choice of eat or not eat. Some suggestions are to 1) see if you can adjust your meal plan to 1 or 2 meals a day, 2) redirect those funds to purchasing simple, but more to your liking, items you can prepare in your apartment. If you have a refrigerator and a microwave, that opens a lot of possibilities. Please do remember however that frozen prepared meals contain a lot of salt. Hopefully, the dining choices will improve at your residence along with supply issues.
Do you know of others who don't want to eat unhealthy foods? If not, quietly ask others how they feel about the meals. If you can develop a group, then approach the management with the backing and support of others. More people who are dissatisfied might make a bigger difference and better response.
Ask management if there are healthier food items that you can choose from. They should be able to offer grilled or baked chicken instead of fried...or a green salad instead of french fries, etc. I know there are plenty of diabetics there so they have to be able to offer lower cab selections. Just have a friendly conversation with the manager over the dining room. I would be shocked if they say they can't accommodate you.
They insist they offer healthy options one day the only options to fried catfish with fried okra and creamed spinach was hamburger or cheeseburger with fries or chips chicken tenders (fried) with fries grilled cheese withe fruit salad (which they were out of)
Wow! I can't believe how many people advocate passive acceptance of the low quality mass-produced food common in our very expensive institutions! Not everyone can prepare their own food in their rooms, nor should they have to. And no, it doesn't take a long time to develop circulatory or other issues from de-natured food at all. So sorry to read these comments.
I can't believe it either, schwester. It's absolutely disgusting. None of these places be it an independent senior living, an AL, NH, or rehab are cheap to be in. They get top dollar and then some so food costs going up are not going to bankrupt these places. For what these places charge they could offer a MENU with different meals to choose from and have a Michelin star chef in the kitchen making them and they'd still make money.
Independent living in a facility is a rental contract and purchase of services provided by the facility, all in one document. Not much room to negotiate specific details. Facilities are required by licensing regulations and corporate regulations to follow certain requirements related to food variety, safety, and appeal to the majority of the residents. Knowing how supermarket grocery costs have skyrocketed, facility purchasing power is impacted as well. Choosing what seems healthiest when you can, ask for an 'extra' helping to take back to your apartment, have fresh foods delivered or purchase cooked meals that you like from a restaurant that does delivery(for the predictable time that the kitchen is 'out of' things - the days before the next food delivery arrives.) Your kids are correct that health diet is mainly to slow the progression of common conditions in the elderly. Ask your MD about the benefits of 'tight' versus 'loose' control of blood sugar and lipids. Your age and health now show the benefit of tight control...but risk/benefit ratio changes as we age. Or just relax and eat what you like..each of you.
I don't know where care facilities purchase their food but I do know where caterers and restauranteurs purchase it. I work part-time (mostly filling in during the wedding season and for corporate events) for a well-known caterer in my state and have for many years. The cost that the restaurants and caterers pay for the food is very different than what you pay in the grocery store. Regular people who aren't in the restaurant and catering business do not have access to buying the way people in the business do. The caterer I work for only uses top-shelf quality. Sure, prices have gone up but he's still doing a good business. The food served in institutions like nursing homes, AL facilities, senior housing, etc... has always been the lowest and poorest quality allowed by law. They can't use the excuse of rising food prices because they've always operated this way because they've always been allowed to.
You are your own best advocate when making health choices....be diet, medication, or exercise. You're never too old to embrace a healthy lifestyle, with diet being a major source of how we feel at any age. Being in an "institution" type environment does have it's drawbacks as the intent is to stretch the dollar with high carb meals and little protein. However, with the high cost of these facilities, options should be available for those who are more mindful of their food choices. Other's have mentioned to fill the void by grocery shopping, but we all know that's expensive. Sadly, I think your only option is to supplement out of pocket, or if there are enough like minded residents, approach administration with your concerns. Good luck.
You should be living wherever suits your needs and not living under a set of rules that don't serve you. You can move to a different facility or a different plan at your current facility if it is offered. "A Place for Mom" is a placement service as is the care advisor on this website. Also, there are medications for high cholesterol and blood sugar levels.
Since when 80+ is the age to forgo some healthy eating? Unless you choose to eat junk. I strongly believe in fresh unprocessed food, for health and energy, when eating junk on the road let say feel sluggish, tired, Here, there is lots of talk and review of AL, NH. Some say it is all about profit. So cheap food and hire unqualified people.
I had a pretty bad accident over a year ago, and since then, have had to rely on Meals on Wheels for a good part of what I eat. I take the meals apart, almost never eating the vegetables -- they are canned beans, peas, etc. that have been frozen -- and only occasionally the desert, which is canned fruit often that has also been frozen.
Even though it's heavy on salt, I do find some meats/fish dishes that I can cook in the microwave (some chicken dishes mainly, occasionally a fish dish) and a few breakfast items that are pretty good (like a cheese omelet, or some french toast.)Then I almost always supplement these with my own salad (sometimes with carrots they provide + tomatoes) and my own vegetables, usually steamed broccoli or cauliflower. I, too, really like sweet potatoes (just cooked one today), which I bake in the oven and then refrigerate. It's usually good for at least two days, if you put them in tin foil. I second what people have said here: you'll need an oven, even a small one like what I have, and a microwave. Oh-- and a vegetable steamer is absolutely essential. They've become quite expensive new, but I picked up a couple in thrift stores. I think you can make it work, but you have to come up with some creative cooking to take what you can from these meals and supplement them with your own dishes. Good luck.
I’m flabbergasted that any dining room these days but particularly one catering to seniors doesn’t have heart and diabetic friendly options, lots of them. The fact that your husband is 87 and wanting a better diet speaks volumes about what has been working well for both of you!
I totally understand the dilemma the dining room finds itself in with supplies and the food chain obstacles but I don’t understand why that means everything should be fried. The same chicken, fish etc can be just as easily be steamed, roasted or grilled and the vegetable options raw or steamed. I can imagine the supply problems might limit the variety but offering both the fried and non fried options of the same protein and vegetable seems basic to me.
I agree with those who suggest you first go to the kitchen and ask if there are low salt, low carb options available for each meal. Explain that you both were put on low salt, low carb diets long ago by your doctors and you didn’t expect finding those options to be difficult when you moved in here. If you don’t get any satisfaction there, again would be very surprised if you were the only residents with diet restrictions, move on up the ladder of management at the facility. Go to the person who “sold” you on the place, then their boss etc.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting the diet you want, maybe you no longer enjoy fried foods, assuming you did at one time, once you stop some of those heavy foods and your body readjusts to a healthier diet some of the foods you may have enjoyed 10, years ago can really havok with your system not to mention how it leaves you feeling sometimes for days. That said, I truly think your kids simply assume you are “depriving” yourselves and just don’t understand that the food offered just isn’t enticing to you. I don’t think their urging to simply enjoy your food is wrong it’s just what food they assume you enjoy that’s wrong.
I sort of see the concern. On the other hand, when one is old, maybe the goal is not to eat healthy for a long life, but to enjoy food, and generally those kind of foods taste better.
I agree with the kids
When my dad was dying from Alzheimers and had the usual swallowing issues, they put him on a pureed diet. He hated it and would not eat it. I told me to eat it.
He said you try eating that S_it.
Maybe at that point the goal should have been to enjoy eating in his last weeks. Not to say you are in last weeks, but the principle is the same.
Can you not ask for any healthier substitutes possibly more vegetable oriented. If there are none of those I would seriously complain. It may be nice to have a carb but not all carbs and fried food. I don't believe that food on a constant basis makes one feel better. It may feel enjoyable while eating it but harder to digest and a senior facility should know that.
It's not just that. My brother is in a nursing home in California paid by Medi-Cal. The food is absolutely diisgustiing - forget about being healthy. It smells, the texture is unappealing, and looks old to begin with. Also, it's either under-cooked or over-cooked. We are trying to get the Ombudsman involved but she is hesitant because it's so difficult to deal with food quality especially as prices are skyrocketing.
You are entitled to eat a healthy, balanced diet and live your senior years the best you can. Is there a registered dietician on staff that you can converse with? How about the Director or Manager of the facility where you reside? For your medical conditions, you should be able to get a statement from your doctor's office stating the recommended diet and what is prohibited or at least limited.
I've been a resident at a facility. I have specific dietary needs. I had my orders sent to the facility by my nutritionist. When they were not providing the correct meals I went directly to the facility management and got it corrected.
I am 66 and have a restricted diet that is low-fat, low sugar and I am limiting salt. I still live independently as long as possible, but awestruck that these retirement places offer the wrong foods for the high prices residents pay to live there. Do go to the manager to complain.
A healthy diet helps to prevent a premature death. After 80, a death will no longer be premature. Healthy habits will not increase the life expectancy by much. Protecting the coronary arteries, will not prevent death from cancer, arrhythmias, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, kidney failure, liver disease, ALS or accidents,
Talk to your primary care doctor. He or she can prescribe a diet that meets your needs. As a prescription, the facility should be required to find ways to meet your dietary prescription.
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
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But I think that your kids are right too, the ill effects of high blood pressure and high cholesterol are cumulative and take years to develop, at your ages giving up things you enjoy may not really gain you much benefit.
a grilled cheese sandwich is so greasy from grilling it’s inedible
High carb, high starch items are cheap and easy to prepare in large quantities. A lot of fried items are purchased in bulk pre prepared and partially cooked so frying is fast, easy and efficient for kitchen staff.
You can make good choices when it comes to selecting items.
Salad with a squeeze of lemon rather than prepared dressings. Or no dressing use cheese and fruits on top.
No bread, rolls, biscuits.
Baked or broiled rather than fried.
See it's easy..for me sitting in my house not having to make those choices.
would I rather have Beer Battered fish and fries in stead of the baked one that is probably dried out and mealy? You betcha.
Would I go get seconds on ice cream rather than skip dessert? Yup there is always time for ice cream!
Now...back to your choices.
do others feel the same way? If so as a group can you gather people and talk to management? See if there is a way that they can offer more healthy options?
Since this Independent Living I am sure you have the option of preparing your own meals. Are you given a "meal allowance"? If so cook more at home and be more selective when it comes to dining room meals. Maybe even a group of you can form a "dinner party group" and take turns preparing meals.
I sympathize, though - it's a rhubarb-rhubarb-mutter-grumble theme with me, that many of the people we support never seem to see a vegetable, it's all over-salted ready meals with not a fresh item to be had in the kitchen.
But going back to your ILF: do you actually (or more to the point does your husband actually) enjoy what's provided?
My folks stayed in a IL cottage for a few months while their house was being worked on, and they hated the food because it wasn't the way they were accustomed to eating. They ended up doing all their own cooking, because they weren't the types to eat canned fruit and heavily processed things. Unfortunately, that's what you get when a place is cooking for a lot of people.
I'd ask to speak to the nutritionist or dietician at your place and see what can be done, or be prepared to cook for yourselves for breakfast and lunch at least.
Not to mention, no matter WHAT the ILF serves, the patrons WILL complain! It's the law. Too many veggies/too few veggies/too many fried foods/not enough fried foods/too spicy/too bland/too crisp/too mushy/too sweet/not sweet enough, etc etc etc. I've listened to those complaints for the entirety of the 7 years my folks were living in Assisted Living, in spite of the fact that they had plenty to choose from AND the food was quite good and plentiful~
Last but not least, I'm sure you have a fridge and a kitchenette in your apartment. Meaning, stock up on what you like and eat in a few meals a week to ensure you're getting meals that are tailored specifically to your tastes. That's your best bet.
hamburger or cheeseburger with fries or chips
chicken tenders (fried) with fries
grilled cheese withe fruit salad (which they were out of)
For what these places charge they could offer a MENU with different meals to choose from and have a Michelin star chef in the kitchen making them and they'd still make money.
Choosing what seems healthiest when you can, ask for an 'extra' helping to take back to your apartment, have fresh foods delivered or purchase cooked meals that you like from a restaurant that does delivery(for the predictable time that the kitchen is 'out of' things - the days before the next food delivery arrives.)
Your kids are correct that health diet is mainly to slow the progression of common conditions in the elderly. Ask your MD about the benefits of 'tight' versus 'loose' control of blood sugar and lipids. Your age and health now show the benefit of tight control...but risk/benefit ratio changes as we age.
Or just relax and eat what you like..each of you.
I don't know where care facilities purchase their food but I do know where caterers and restauranteurs purchase it.
I work part-time (mostly filling in during the wedding season and for corporate events) for a well-known caterer in my state and have for many years.
The cost that the restaurants and caterers pay for the food is very different than what you pay in the grocery store.
Regular people who aren't in the restaurant and catering business do not have access to buying the way people in the business do. The caterer I work for only uses top-shelf quality. Sure, prices have gone up but he's still doing a good business.
The food served in institutions like nursing homes, AL facilities, senior housing, etc... has always been the lowest and poorest quality allowed by law. They can't use the excuse of rising food prices because they've always operated this way because they've always been allowed to.
https://www.aplaceformom.com/caregiver-resources/articles/special-diets
Unless you choose to eat junk.
I strongly believe in fresh unprocessed food, for health and energy, when eating junk on the road let say feel sluggish, tired,
Here, there is lots of talk and review of AL, NH. Some say it is all about profit. So cheap food and hire unqualified people.
Even though it's heavy on salt, I do find some meats/fish dishes that I can cook in the microwave (some chicken dishes mainly, occasionally a fish dish) and a few breakfast items that are pretty good (like a cheese omelet, or some french toast.)Then I almost always supplement these with my own salad (sometimes with carrots they provide + tomatoes) and my own vegetables, usually steamed broccoli or cauliflower. I, too, really like sweet potatoes (just cooked one today), which I bake in the oven and then refrigerate. It's usually good for at least two days, if you put them in tin foil. I second what people have said here: you'll need an oven, even a small one like what I have, and a microwave. Oh-- and a vegetable steamer is absolutely essential. They've become quite expensive new, but I picked up a couple in thrift stores. I think you can make it work, but you have to come up with some creative cooking to take what you can from these meals and supplement them with your own dishes. Good luck.
I totally understand the dilemma the dining room finds itself in with supplies and the food chain obstacles but I don’t understand why that means everything should be fried. The same chicken, fish etc can be just as easily be steamed, roasted or grilled and the vegetable options raw or steamed. I can imagine the supply problems might limit the variety but offering both the fried and non fried options of the same protein and vegetable seems basic to me.
I agree with those who suggest you first go to the kitchen and ask if there are low salt, low carb options available for each meal. Explain that you both were put on low salt, low carb diets long ago by your doctors and you didn’t expect finding those options to be difficult when you moved in here. If you don’t get any satisfaction there, again would be very surprised if you were the only residents with diet restrictions, move on up the ladder of management at the facility. Go to the person who “sold” you on the place, then their boss etc.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting the diet you want, maybe you no longer enjoy fried foods, assuming you did at one time, once you stop some of those heavy foods and your body readjusts to a healthier diet some of the foods you may have enjoyed 10, years ago can really havok with your system not to mention how it leaves you feeling sometimes for days. That said, I truly think your kids simply assume you are “depriving” yourselves and just don’t understand that the food offered just isn’t enticing to you. I don’t think their urging to simply enjoy your food is wrong it’s just what food they assume you enjoy that’s wrong.
I agree with the kids
When my dad was dying from Alzheimers and had the usual swallowing issues, they put him on a pureed diet. He hated it and would not eat it. I told me to eat it.
He said you try eating that S_it.
Maybe at that point the goal should have been to enjoy eating in his last weeks. Not to say you are in last weeks, but the principle is the same.