My DH is now the only child of a 92 year old MIL who is still fairly independent, widowed in December, very narcissistic, still drives and manages her own finances for the most part, and lives in a retirement community apartment (gets her meals, cleaning service, transportation when needed, etc.). The big problem is that she has been falling for scams (phone and mail, usually from Jamaica) for at least 5 years now and between my DH and his now deceased brother, they have stopped her from completing at least 5 potentially financially significant scams. We have no idea how many we do not know about that went through. Yesterday her bank called to alert my DH that she was there trying to deposit a $6000.+ fraudulent check and she was telling them that she won 2 million dollars and this check was to pay for the taxes and fees on her winnings. She was supposed to deposit the check into her account then wait for further instructions the next day. Last time she fell for one (this past November) DH told her that, if she fell for this again, he was taking control of her finances so she could not get scammed out of the money she has to make last to pay her rent and few bills. We were supposed to be 3 hours away camping this week and cancelled due to the heat and potential storms. Had we gone we would have had to pack up and come home on our 2nd day there.
Has anyone had to take control of parents' finances in order to safeguard their income and savings? My husband is Durable POA and his name is on all accounts except my FIL's Aid and Attendance account, which MIL uses to pay her rent. This account will be depleted soon enough as nothing is going into it anymore. She has very few bills and very little income (as most of their income was from my FIL and they never planned for her to outlive him). Is there any other way to safeguard her money from her losing it to scammers? In the past, she had even arranged to meet strangers in parking lots to exchange or wire money in order to collect her "big win." When FIL died, they were over $50,000. short of what she told us they had in the few years prior. Their joint income had covered all their bills so they had not spent that money. She went ballistic yesterday when DH told her he was now taking over her finances. We meet with our attorney on Monday. We live in a filial responsibility state.
She seems wyly, so just taking over her finances may not be enough...I would "lock down" any important paperwork/information where she lives (if she continues to live there). When we realized both my MIL and StepFIL had cognitive issues and had more than $930 in overdrafts, we located all blank checks, checkbooks, sensitive banking or investment info, credit cards, licenses, SS cards, passwords, etc. and just confiscated them (including the car keys) without really telling them. My husband was the PoA for his mom so we set up all their accounts online so that we could always pay bills on time, know what they were paying and know what activity was going on. But they never had smart phones, and I'm assuming your MIL does. Maybe have her go to a simplified smart phone (with less functionality) or a flip phone, to reduce "rogue" purchasing and contacts with strangers. They have these smartphones for young kids where they can only text on them, for full parental control. If she has friendly neighbors or management, you can contact them to ask for help "keeping an eye on her" and maybe giving them a restaurant gift card so they can take her out for some socializing. Your LO may be bored and has too much time and not enough going on.
Without really knowing your LO, I would try to transition her into this new arrangement rather than "confront" or "take away" as that will surely inflame her. But if time is of the essence you may not have this luxury. Wishing you a good outcome!
This was not the first time the manager borrowed money in the 5 years we could get records free. Those appear to have been repaid. But the woman who for some reason mthr gave her POA to, had changed the registration of mthr's farm that adjoins the woman's land and there was no corresponding payment. And this supposed PoA had never been to mthrs house (the judge threw that lady out of the hearing).
You can wait too long to take over, and there will be less $ to take care of your loved one, or you can risk angering them and having them safe, longer. We chose to step in before it was too late.
https://www.aging.senate.gov
I know this is hard and frustrating, and hope you can resolve it soon and get some peace of mind.