My loved one has dementia and I am moving them across the country, it is a non-stop 32 hour trip. There are 3 people on board, one who is a CNA to help with the needs of the patient. This will be on a hospital bed that adjusts. I was planning on doing the ride also but now think that I need to be at the final destination when they arrive since it will be a new place and I will need to spend a lot of time there the first day to help with the adjustment. I'm not sure how mentally and physically I will be there if I have to accompany my loved one but want to make it easy for them too. I'm sure there will be no resting for me and I have some health issues too that I need to take into consideration. What do you all think? Has anyone made a move like this? Thanks.
Trips with parents can be exhausting. You made the correct decision not to join your family member on the trip.
Several people on the forum have moved their family members closer to where they live. Stick around for feedback.
Are they moving in with you or into a facility?
A hospital bed means that the trip probably needs to be in a truck. The bed would need to be secured very very carefully. There should be room beside the bed for someone to lie down on a camping mattress on the truck tray. With 3 or 4 people, you would need room for more than one extra sleeping place.
A 32 hour trip means overnight travel with at least 2 drivers on 12 hour shifts. Here long distance truckies are strictly limited to 12 hours driving maximum in each 24 hours. The second driver can sleep in the padded ‘truckie-bed’ in the truck cabin, up behind the driver. Truckies risk their licence if they cheat.
What you may not realise is that the vehicle (and the bed) will bounce a lot, even on bitumen roads. In a loaded truck, you find out that the road is much less smooth than it seems in a car. I think it depends on the quality of the ‘fill’ beneath the top surface. This varies from place to place, as it is usually excavated fairly close to the highway. I did a day or so in the truckie bed in the cabin once when my back was crook, and the bouncing meant that it was nothing like as comfortable as my normal lie-down flat on a concrete floor.
Other things to think about:
- Getting up into a truck isn’t so easy, unless you are young, fit and/or in practice. Check out early whether the people who are going on the trip can do it easily. We take a step ladder for me.
- What are the plans if something goes wrong. An extra night on the road? A medical emergency? A death in some state where you are out of your depth?
I would think very very carefully about this plan. I’d only go ahead if the people organising it have solid prior experience of doing the same thing. Don’t take the word of people who have done something a bit similar and think that this will be the same.
Yours, Margaret
There was always a CNN (paid home caregiver), at least one other relative and me. We were all spry and healthy. By the time I'd get LO home, I'd want to tear my hair out (LO being difficult), take a month-long nap (me being exhausted) and take a permanent vacation from LO.
You're moving your LO to a new place on the other side of the continent because you don't want LO to have mental health problems. What about the mental health problems that will be caused by taking this person away from the environment they know and for which they presumably have coping skills? On a 32-hour trip with people they don't know (I'm guessing)? On a bed that could slide if they're not careful? On the awful springs of such a vehicle, which are nothing like a car's suspension system? When does the driver sleep? What about wintry roads and delays? What about LO adjusting to a new place they've never seen before? What about LO missing the things and people who are familiar? All while dying?
You've got the basis for a sequel or prequel to the William Faulkner novel, As I Lay Dying. Good luck.
• (2) Drivers, both will be CPR and Defensive Driving Certified
• (1) Medical Professional (CNA/LPN/RN/MA)
• All Meals and Snacks for Patient and Passengers Included!
• Onboard entertainment via Smart TV with Streaming Service
• Free Onboard WiFi for Patient and Passengers
• Most Pets allowed (Please let us know what type of pet to confirm)
They handling the toileting, changing of briefs. They stop for fuel and food but with three people, one with the patient, they are able to drive straight through taking turns sleeping.
If you are the one who's planning to be The Visitor, realize she may not even want you there or you may become a trigger for her anger when she sees you, as MANY of us have learned the hard way. Maybe not, but you just don't know. If you are doing this for YOUR sake, for YOUR peace of mind, that's one thing. But for moms "mental health" which is already shot, to go from an AL to a home with residents is already isolating, is another. To then add on a 32 hour non stop trip with a CNA attending to her.....I hope you realize a CNA cannot even administer medication nor would she be trained to intervene in an emergency, like an EMT would. Mom would have to go to the ER in the event medical help was required. Is the CNA trained to change the brief of a demented elder who's lying down in a moving vehicle???
Anyway, make sure this CNA knows what she's doing and that mom has some calming meds in her before they leave.
Best of luck to you.