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I thought I was responding to Power of Attorney: Why Not Buy a Form Online?

For healthcare the only POA I trust is 5 WISHES which is legally accepted in 42 states and has been translated into 22 languages. There is also a pediatric form.
Why I like it? The 1st wish allows you to select 3 individuals and 2 alternates to form a team to aid with your health care issues with you or if you are unable to make the decision. The next wishes relate to how you wish to be treated during your health decision road. The final wish allows you to determine how you wish to have your memorial.
The language is very comforting and very legal. There are attorneys who pu-pu the notion of a team making the decisions but it is legal.
Aging with Dignity or google 5 Wishes. It is $5.00 for 1 but is definitely worth the investment for your loved one and yourself and family.
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Reply to christinex2ri
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BarbLM: More information is needed from you before I can suggest a response.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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AbsolAbsolutely not a suggestion I know a lot of people believe that doctors sometimes make educated guesses but I'd rather rely on them than uneducated anything
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Reply to TBI4MOM
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That's fine but the cost to find a good place for a loved one is very expensive. I think our insurance should pay towards care for people who need 24 hour care.
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Reply to Fashion4P
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Isthisrealyreal Jul 13, 2024
Then nobody would be able to afford health insurance.

They do sell a specific insurance product for this very scenario, it's called LTC insurance.
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Ask the doctor.
I'd think NO. . . otherwise, why would she say that?
You must ask your MD to clarify anything and everything s/he says that you are not absolutely clear about / understand.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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Not true about you being liable for a parent. Adult children are never responsible for anything that their parents do. If he has the mental capacity to make his own decisions, it is entirely his choice to accept help or not. If he is not capable of making decisions then he would need to have a guardian appointed by a court.
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Reply to Catsmom7
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Our doctor didn't "suggest" 24/7 care for our dad, my sister, as a nurse, decided it needed to happen. Dad didn't want it, though he was a brittle diabetic. I wanted to respect Dad's wishes, as this was a great point of contention with him, so asked his elder law atty about it. His comments (FL law) were that if we knew Dad needed care and didn't provide it, regardless of not having a doctor "prescribe" it, we would be liable if something happened and could go to jail. Food for thought.

On the other hand, the doctor did let dad go home from an assisted living facility, after a stroke, knowing that he lived alone, not ordering home health care for him, and not letting us know that he was even going home! We had to scramble to get someone there to look after him! Who told us?? The neighbor who picked him up from the facility and took him home, gave us a call. Geez.
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Reply to lindaglee
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Doesn't sound like a mere suggestion to me. If you have doubts, a second opinion from an experienced medical professional who has seen and evaluated the patient face-to-face is probably a good idea.
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Reply to elcee499
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Safety first, at the very least make sure your patient is monitored 24/7
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Reply to PJGisler
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Twenty-four home care can be very expensive. If you look into this option read all of the terms of the care, including hourly quotes as well as to the minute quotes. Also care givers have to be monitored. One of mine at $33 per hour slept on my couch, wanting blanket, pillow, etc. Another did not know what a boost was. These care givers came from a very reputable company or so I thought. I opted for care up to 10 or 11 and then used a baby monitor. I am a very light sleeper so I was aware of any movement or need. You will be inconvenienced by having someone in the house but nursing homes seem understaffed. At least I knew care was given.
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Reply to Windingquilter
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I’m confused, because you have not completed your profile or explained much. 24 hour care for whom? I first read it as being for you. But perhaps not!

24 hour care can be one of several different things: Three shifts of carers sitting by the bedside at home, 24 hours a day? A nursing home? AL with a bit of extra monitoring? A babycam, and a pressure alarm if the person wakes up and tries to get out of bed? They are all forms of 24 hour care.

For that matter, doctors differ in their suggestions, their understanding of the total situation at home, and their realism about finances. Saying ‘24 hour care’ is easier than doing it. It reminds me of another recent post where the doctor said that MIL ‘would not thrive’ in a NH – without considering whether the carer, husband or children would ‘thrive’ with MIL at home and the carer quitting her job, or even whether ANY elder ‘thrives' in a NH.

If you have doubts about the need for 24 hour care, I’d suggest that you look at all the options. Then go back to the doctor for a more detailed recommendation – or find another doctor who can give more useful advice.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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I was told my dad needed memory care by a "Doctor", when I went to look at facilities I knew that my dad did NOT need memory care.

So, I highly recommend, that you get a needs assessment from your local council on aging and decide from there.

Some doctors are complete and total idiots and don't use the sense a sugar ant has, it is up to us to advocate or get an advocate to ensure we are getting the appropriate care for the actual needs.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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24/7 care is generally only "suggested" when necessary. And it's not just having someone live with the patient or the patient living with someone. 24/7 care is having someone awake and alert 24/7 in order to see to the needs of the patient. That usually implies that the person can't be left on their own for any amount of time.

So is it a suggestion? I guess if you look at it from the perspective of can they they force you to do it - not unless something really bad happens and APS has to step in (and even then if she is "competent" she still gets to decide, unless she is Baker Act'd or something serious like that).

So sure - it's a suggestion. But it's not one I would ignore for very long - because it usually has a strong sense of urgency behind it.
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Reply to BlueEyedGirl94
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No
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Reply to Sierramikewhisk
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When the doctor makes a suggestion, do you ignore it? Or only when it's for 24-hour care, which costs some money and a lot of inconvenience? Examine your conscience.
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Reply to Fawnby
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It’s advice based on training, expertise, and experience. Like all advice it can be ignored, often to a person and their family’s peril
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Put it this way - if you ignore it, and dont do it, and he/she falls and has a major injury, then how will you feel?
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Reply to strugglinson
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Yes. More than a suggestion, look at it as a PRESCRIPTION for care.
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Reply to Midkid58
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CaringinVA Jul 13, 2024
I like that Mid, a prescription for care. Also, it is good to see you and I hope you are doing well.
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The same as when the doctor says a patient needs heart medication. It's a "suggestion" in that it's up to the patient to actually follow doctors orders, or why ask for their expertise in the first place?
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Fawnby Jul 8, 2024
Lea, I follow doctors' instructions to the letter. I've had a couple of them express surprise when it's come up in conversation about meds or therapy. I gather from their reactions that ignoring doctors' advice is rampant. This puzzles me. If I didn't want their advice, I'd stay home and eat bon-bons.
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